4 Grooming Habits That Men Are Not Exempt From

As a woman who, despite her longing to just scoot out of the house in pajamas and slippers sometimes and tell society at large to go f-ck itself, is constantly required to maintain my personal grooming — I know it’s hard. And with summer coming, and more precious skin being revealed, things are only going to get more tedious. But women should not be alone in our mandate from society that upkeep is essential; men should be thinking about these things, too. And here, four habits that are often ignored by some of the XY chromosomes that could use them the most.

1. Keeping your feet in sandal-ready shape.

Though I have no problems with men in a nice pair of sandals, it is just a general rule that if you are going to be wearing footwear whose side effect is showing the world at large exactly what your toes look like, you must keep them presentable. There are few things more truly horrifying than seeing a man in a brand-new pair of flip-flops (usually accompanied with Oakleys and board shorts — but that’s an abomination to address at another juncture), only to have his feet vaguely resemble those of a particularly unhygienic Hobbit. Toe hair, yellow nails, ripped-up cuticles, callouses everywhere — these things are not acceptable for anyone. No one is saying that you should go to your nearest salon and get four coats of fluorescent magenta paint lacquered on, but basic foot maintenance is something everyone can enjoy. I don’t care how “girly” it is to maintain oneself below the ankles, if you are going to be giving us all kinds of toe cleavage, do us all a favor and keep your feet in check.

2. Moderate eyebrow plucking.

When I see a man whose eyebrows clearly have something pressing to discuss, and have gathered together at the center of his forehead to pass along the gossip, it is all I can do not to run at him screaming with a pair of tweezers and yank that unibrow out so hard I would become the King of England. How do some men look at the wooly mammoths that are making their annual pilgrimage across their skull every morning in the mirror and think, “Yeah, this is okay,” and go about their day? And his bros, how does not a one amongst them have the self-awareness and the cultural savvy not to be like, “Hey, man, your face is starting to look like one of those fuzzy caterpillars that make those crazy-ass nests that kill trees.”? In any case, I am here to put my foot down that, no, it’s not “a chick thing” to give your brows a mild plucking, at least in the interest of separating them into two distinct entities. No one is suggesting that they be reduced to Sharpie-esque levels of thinness, but there is almost nothing that a discerning pluck or two can’t do to enhance your beauty.

3. Moisturizing.

I cannot tell you how many men I have met in my life for whom the concept of moisturizing — whether it be with conditioner, lip balm, or just straight-up lotion, is completely foreign. The basic principle of having to help your skin out with retaining water against the elements and not devolving into a flaky, crusty wasteland is a simple one — but yet one that many seem to think they are immune to. Having the slightest sheen on your lips or softness to your hair doesn’t make them any less masculine, it simply means they aren’t taking on the texture of sandpaper as they cry out for just a precious few more water molecules. You see some guys who look like they’re going to cough out a cubic meter of dust the next time they open their mouths, so chapped and weathered are their bodies. Moisture is for everyone, you see, and there’s no reason we should deny ourselves its wonders.

4. Being open to trimming your hedges.

Here’s the thing, everyone has different preferences about what they like — let’s call a spade a spade — pubic hair to look like. And as a woman, I know that society is usually fluctuating between having me eradicate it completely, keeping it perfectly trimmed around the edges, or razoring it into various fun shapes for everyone to enjoy. (I once saw this kit to trim your business into a lightning bolt, star, or crescent moon and I was just like lolwut who has this kind of time on their hands, but I digress.) In any case, it’s understandable that we should all be open to compromising with our partners on what it looks like down there, as they are often going to have to be the ones getting all up in it, so to speak. And though I think the societal pressure on women to follow minute-by-minute updates on what it should be looking like is a bit much, I try to be open-minded. However, at no point is a man allowed to demand anything from anyone — personal-styling wise — if he refuses to do anything to his besides occasionally wash it, if you’re lucky. It may come as a surprise, but completely unhindered growth is not appealing to everyone on a man, and some might not like it when it looks like mid-80’s Weird Al is filming a music video between his stomach and his knees. We should all try to be more open about this, especially if we’re going to be making requests of other people. I’m sure we can all find happy compromises with our partners, but, as with much of personal grooming, it’s definitely not a one-way street. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • http://twitter.com/yvonne1503 yvonne (@yvonne1503)

    I’m counting my blessings now – guys I’ve met always took care of their pubes! Makes a world of a difference and I’m sure it’s a mutual thing as well

  • Dan

    I have hairy toes and i’m proud. if you can’t stand it, you’re welcome to fly to Texas just to shave my feet and kiss my ass.

    • vivi

      Yeah, I’m sick of Thought Catalog’s relentless racial provocation toward hobbits. Was segregation and overly-specific movie casting not enough, Chelsea?

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  • vivi

    One more thing: I don’t care too much about manscaping, but if you look like you’re hiding a Troll doll under each armpit, please do something about it. (still figuring out how to politely tell the guy I’m seeing…)

  • H

    I can’t understand why any man would allow his pubes to go wild, it just makes your dick look smaller.

  • Ashamed that you're a fellow woman

    This is such bogus… Who the hell are you to determine what men should/should not do? Good luck to you finding your Scott Disick-like replica of a man. Not everyone is look-obsessed as you so clearly are. And in a world where women are fighting for equality… To get away from what men think women should be/ look like/ etc… this article is a slap in the face. Shame on you. How would you feel if one of your male coworker authors wrote a piece for what women aren’t exempt from?

    • H

      Women aren’t exempt from any beauty regime. That’s the whole point. Maybe face shaving..unless you’re my sister.

      • C.

        Women can be exempt from any beauty regime they wish. To argue that it’s ok to be a dick to one gender because you perceive the same slight against yours is the most backward fight for equality that (unfortunately) too many subscribe to. Do what you want however you want to do it. Never tell anyone to change something about themselves unless they’re hurting others.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/brandonwhumphries Brandon Humphries

    Speak for your own damn self Re: Number 4. I don’t want dick with a hitler stache or air of pre-pubescence.

  • I'm a man about to write an article about what women should do with their bodies to appease me.

    Wait, no I’m not. Because that would be sexist and ignorant and only men can be sexist and ignorant. Fuck you.

  • J

    5) Owning and Maintaining a Clean Butthole
    Wet wipes are to be purchased, and occasionally used. Just buy some and try them once; you’ll understand.

    • http://www.facebook.com/brandonwhumphries Brandon Humphries

      Preach sister, Preach

  • Mike

    Chelsea, I’ll agree with your opinion on the nails, cuticles, and callouses…but a man must never, EVER shave his toes. Man Law.

    The twig-and-berries region, however, should absolutely be well-kempt. It’s cleaner, and it looks awesome when done right. And if the dames like it, then there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be done!

  • dani

    “…some might not like it when it looks like mid-80′s Weird Al is filming a music video between his stomach and his knees.” I die.

  • http://twitter.com/nvvmxac danne (@nvvmxac)

    if you have no problem with men in a pair of sandals you have a big problem.

  • Joe

    My pubes are the least of my concerns, what with all this back-hair!

  • Brian Time

    yeah this article is pretty sexist…ridiculous actually. I’m a helpless man…please tell me how to maintain my physical appearance! It looks like you’re looking for a son, not a significant other.

    • Stina

      This article is not sexist at all. Institutional sexism against men doesn’t exist.

  • matt

    Bitch, GET OVER YOURSELF. Were all fucking animals, we grow hair and we stink.

  • http://www.mensciencemagazine.com/ Geoff

    These are just a few good habits. There are plenty of other ones to consider: http://www.mensciencemagazine.com/best-mens-skincare-habits-for-healthy-skin

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