10 Most Crucial Middle School Dance Jams

There was no three-hour period more stressful, more hormonal, or more well-chaperoned than a middle school dance. Usually kicking off right after school and continuing into the dusky hours when your parents would line up to take you home, they were those tender moments in which you could fall in love, break a heart, or just be the kid painfully attempting to break dance in the middle of the circle. Whatever you chose to do, you could rest assured that there would be a perfect soundtrack for your 13-year-old follies. Here, the most utterly essential of those songs.

1. Joe, “I Wanna Know”

Kicking things off with one of the gentlest of slow jams, here, Joe crooned all of the sentiments we wanted to tell our significant other of two weeks. Things were serious, it was time to sway back and forth with our arms on each others’ shoulders, and Joe was going to remind us how much we totally like-liked each other.

2. Marcia Griffiths, “Electric Slide”

IT’S ELECTRIC. This, one of the more challenging line dances for the timid sixth-grader, was guaranteed to leave the dance floor to only the most sure-footed. There was that whole wiggling back and forward thing and turning around to face the right direction, a challenge, to say the least. Then there was always that one kid who realized a few seconds too late he was facing the opposite direction from everyone else and had to scramble to compensate. We saw you, uncoordinated kid, we saw you.

3. Next, “Too Close”

The song which left us innocently grinding our pubescent crotches against each other, halfway singing along to the largely obscure lyrics, blissfully unaware that a grown man was talking about getting an erection from rubbing against a woman’s back. The woman, in true 90’s R&B form, only coquettishly acknowledges the amorous protrusion as “a little poke coming through.” Classy material all-around for a middle school dance, I’d say.

4. Montell Jordan, “This Is How We Do It”

Never missing an opportunity to make small white pre-teens look incredibly ridiculous, this song was guaranteed to get Brad and Dylan jumping up and down, throwing half-formed gang signs, and insisting that this was, indeed, how they did it. It was a moment for all of us to think we looked so, so cool and had a certain tingling sensation that we didn’t know how to identify at the time, but would later retroactively diagnose as “swag.”

5. Los Del Rio, “Macarena”

The crown jewel of all things group dance, the Macarena was both easy enough for the whole group to do, and Spanish enough to put those World Language Connections skills to use. We’d incoherently babble along to that chorus as we did the hand gestures, sure to turn around with an emphatic “HA!” at the end — lest we end up like that uncoordinated kid in the Electric Slide. And, true to middle school dance song form, the lyrics were actually rather provocative, telling the story of a lustful woman who cheats on her out-of-town boyfriend with two of his friends. No surprises there.

6. Lou Bega, “Mambo No. 5”

As a middle school student, the only lyrics you were legally required to know were, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, everybody in the car so come on, let’s ride!” and, of course, the chorus. I was not lucky enough to experience the agony and ecstasy of having your name actually mentioned in that chorus, but I imagine it would be a defining middle-school moment. I imagine it would have made you feel, temporarily, a celebrity.

7. Eiffel 65, “Blue”

The brief, tenuous moment in which the middle school dance risked getting a tiny bit rave-y, this would allow all the kids who abhorred dancing in even its most base, grinding form to just jump up and down and flail their hands like the inflatable car dealership man. Dance on, nerdy kids, dance on.

8. Boyz II Men, “I’ll Make Love To You”

Boyz II Men, the veritable ambassadors of all things school dance-related, bring us this, the most tender, important song of their entire catalog. If you weren’t asked to dance by your crush during this song, if you didn’t get to put your head gently on their shoulder, well — you just needed to give it up, cause you totally weren’t going to get a kiss on the lips at the end of this dance. Maybe next time, champ.

9. The Village People, “YMCA”

Bringing out this song was like injecting a hypodermic needle full of pure, uncut fun into any middle school dance. There was literally no one who couldn’t mime those four letters, and nothing makes awkward pre-teens happier than being able to unequivocally participate in something. This song united us all, be they native american, construction worker, police officer, or cowboy. We were all equals in the eyes of this song.

10. K-Ci & JoJo, “All My Life”

From the delicate tinkling piano it opens with to the flawless harmony that closes it, this is, without a doubt, the most perfect middle school dance song ever created. The dance would almost without exception be ended with this rose-colored gem of a song, leaving you to gently sway into the night with the love of your middle school life, getting a few last moments of magic out of the evening before those unforgiving house lights went up and your parents came in looking for you. Your lover was “close to you, like your mother, sister, father, and brother.” Sure, those lyrics are super gross looking back on them, but we were 12, what did it matter to us? Even incestuous lyrics couldn’t ruin the perfection that was — that is — K-Ci and JoJo. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

More From Thought Catalog

  • mookie

    im 23 and only know like 50% of these songs

    i never went to middle school dances, unfortunately

  • Oh No You Didn't

    Its just so true. (age- 25)

  • Laura C

    Add some vitamin C and I couldn’t agree more!

  • fluff mcfluff

    I’m 22 and I strongly support the addition of Nsync’s “Gone” to this list. That was the song to slow dance with your fake boyfriend to in 7th grade.

  • http://avtechx.myopenid.com/ James

    Great list!  Although, our dances in middle school (and into high school) were always ended by either Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” or Bob Marley’s “No Woman, No Cry.”  I’m guessing the DJ’s wanted to make sure that even if you didn’t get a last dance from that special someone, you could mope properly during the song anyways. (age- 27)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1061220090 Rui Rong

    You missed “Who Let the Dog Out”

  • hedwig

    I’m missing the thong song and no diggity… loved this list. getting married in september and added about half of these to the reception song list!

    • Robin

      No Diggity was a GOOD one!

  • Tory

    How about Cotton-Eyed Joe? Or A Moment Like This? I didn’t really go to school dances, but those were indispensable bat mitzvah classics.

  • Elliott

    ummm, Jump On It?

    • Elliott

      and how could we forget C’mon ‘N Ride The Train…?

      • Anonymous

        that one and tootsie roll just missed the list

  • Nelly, baby.

    NAILED K-Ci and JoJo, but you missed the token “hard-core” rap song, Country Grammar. So gangster for a 13-year-old.

  • http://twitter.com/royashh Roya S.

    Can I write the part two to this?? Please???

  • ryan chang

    sweet list. remembering ‘bumping’ and ‘grinding’ to lou bega and montell jordan with 6 inches between girl’s crotch and my crotch in 7th grade

  • meeeep

    wannabe — spice girls. 

    if you knew the “rap”, for just a fleeting moment, you were a god. 

    (age -25)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9383035 Scott Muska

      So here’s the story from A to Z you wanna get with me you gotta listen carefully…

  • 2dawindow

    where the FUCK is get low?

    • Guest

      Are you talking about the song that came out in 2003 or 2004? This list is made up mostly of pre 2000’s songs. The list is right on for me (minus the Electric Slide and YMCA).

  • http://twitter.com/ToddLiss Todd Liss

    Just missing Brian McKnight… 1 you make a dream come true….

    • Elevenelevenxo

      YES

    • Anonymous

      DAMN THAT SHIT WAS EVERYWHERE good one

  • Guest

    You forgot any and every Usher song. 

  • Derek

    What about the cha cha slide? (Slide to the left. Slide to the right. CRISS CROSS!! )

    • Anonymous

      thank you!

    • Anonymous

      “everybody clap yr hands”

      *clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap*

  • Tee

    im all the way in south africa and aged 28; all of these jams hit the spot! if i recall correctly, ages 13 – 15 circa ’97 – ’99! absolutely awesome!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6IFPDSFKEQJE2ZPP3ASE35MRL4 Laura

    what about TO THE WINDOOOOOW TO THE WALL. TILL THE SWEAT DRIP DOWN MY *BLEEP*

  • Waicool

    i just had a thought and it wasn ‘t a list

  • Keltydennis

    Bahahahahah number seven. That was me.

blog comments powered by Disqus