What I Learned From Dating The Wrong Guy(s)

Bianca des Jardins - www.instagram.com/biancadjardins/
Bianca des Jardins

“Men aren’t stupid, and you don’t need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here’s the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.” – Pinterest aka the holy grail of quotes Hi, my name is Chelsea and I am a year and a half sober from dating complete idiots (side note: overly proud of myself for referring to “them” in such a PG manner)

But seriously you guys, the stories I could tell would leave you with your jaw on the floor and reaching for a bottle of wine. I have come a long way from settling for people who don’t deserve my love and even though it’s been a bumpy ride I have learned invaluable lessons that I carry into my relationship today.

10 things I have learned from being in the wrong relationship:

1. Two-way street

Relationships should NOT be 50/50 rather 100/100. If your significant other is not giving you their all – sorry honey, but you ain’t got time for half assed anything #ByeFelicia

2. Dream Big

Your dreams are not stupid. Your vision is not silly. Your significant other should value your hopes and dreams as if they were their own. Find someone who wants to invest in you, learn from you, see you win and supports you every single step of the way.

3. Trust

Honesty is the highest form of intimacy. Guard it with your life and never, ever, doubt your intuition.

4. Falling short

I know it may seem somewhat twisted but be thankful for those that have fallen short. Your eyes are now wide open to what you deserve, what you want and more importantly what you do not.

5. Listen

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say. Put your phone down, make eye contact, pay attention to your other half – it will work wonders in a relationship.

6. Grey Area

That area no longer exists. There are two options: all in or all out. Choose wisely.

7. Communicate

Be clear. Do not assume. Stay open. Be exclusive. In summary; even when it’s uncomfortable or uneasy – communicate and no, a subtweet or Facebook status does not count as a healthy way of expressing your feelings. Talk. To. One. Another.

8. Will You Go Out With Me?

Whoever polluted our society with the notion that those in relationships do not need to ‘date’ totally sucks. Get dolled up and go out to dinner or plan a weekend get away – it will be just what the love doctor ordered.

9. Every Day

Your other half should never go a day without knowing how loved they are.

10. Let It Go

Arguments happen in every relationship. Yes, even that insanely adorable couple #goals has their disagreements. Do not go tit for tat. Take a deep breath and put aside your ego. Ask for forgiveness. In the words of Buddah, let that shit go. TC mark

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