We all have this intrinsic and innate need to be accepted. We need to feel like we belong somewhere. I believe it’s an integral of our human nature because somewhere subconsciously we know that connectedness is the way humans thrive.
Despite it being a literal part of our human make-up, I want you to deviate from it. I want you to learn when to listen to that innate sense and when not to. I believe that it can misguide us, lead us to believe that we can’t fit in or that we have to change in order to be a part of something. This is an ill thinking pattern that we have adapted to because we thought we had to because we didn’t know anything else.
My personal experience with shedding this mindset resulted in losing friendships, throwing out half my closet, reading more fucking books, healing my family history, openly sharing my poetry, a lot of alone time, time away from my phone, ending a relationship, and extreme reflection.
I know some of the things I listed sounded uncomfortable like they made you squirm or sit up straighter or even stop reading. The truth is that ending or ridding myself of these things wasn’t harmful to me. I found myself in all that chaos. I found the Me that wasn’t listening to that innate, intrinsic bullshit voice anymore.
-I radically and authentically opened myself up to all the things I’d been denying because they weren’t ‘trendy’ or ‘popular’ or ‘cool.’
-I ended my friendship with my best friend because I realized our friendship wasn’t healthy. It was more about having a place to belong with one another than taking care of each other.
-I ended my year and some change relationship because I was choosing who I thought I wanted, not who I knew would have genuine care and consideration for me. I
-I shared my poetry. I let the world know how extremely fucking sensitive I am and how vehement and poetically I need to express myself.
-I got rid of clothes that I liked because they were trendy and in style.
-I emptied my life of the things that were just unfulfilling and fueling this “need to be liked” fire.
And you know what?
It was freeing. It was liberating, sweet, and exponential.
So today, or the day you feel brave enough I ask you to empty your life of the things and people you kept because they made you feel as if you belonged. Drop an f-bomb, get rid of the trendy clothing, end that malnourished friendships, cut off ill relationships and just fucking be— for you and not for the world you want to find acceptance in.