I might only be on the brink of my “mid-twenties” but in honor of my 24th birthday only being a few short weeks away I thought it would be appropriate to discuss some of the unattractive things related to this age bracket. Ever since my graduation from university last May I have been faced with some ugly truths, 5 to be exact. Sure, being in your twenties is amazing and I am definitely not taking it for granted.
I know, I know, I am free, able to make my own life decisions, not required to sport dorky braces (that took over my entire damn 4 year high school experience!) anymore, and can enjoy the “finer” things in life (whatever the heck that entails). However, my expectations and excitement about being this age have come to a quick halt solely because it is not going the way I expected it to. Simply put, growing up sucks.
1. A lot of your friends will go MIA.
I had all of these exciting plans once I finished my undergrad. I spent 4 and a half years conjuring up all of the things that my girls and myself would be able to do once I finished. Recreation of the Hangover on a Vegas getaway, enjoying the single life with all of my single friends, go wine tasting while spending the day in Niagara on the lake and getting pampered at a spa? Yes please! However, fast forward to convocation and thereafter and I have yet to do any of those things with them.
Instead, people are busy with their own lives now and that’s just the way it is. In order to make plans, one must simply create a Facebook event or group chat to ensure a time and place that everyone can get together. This planning will usually happen at least a month prior to the event, however most of the time it still never works out. Why you may ask? Because it was planned so freaking far in advance (just to ensure EVERYONE could make it), that many of your silly buddies forget (or so they say) and end up being a no show. You can now mourn and say goodbye to the random group hang outs you were so accustomed to in both high school and university. That shit just doesn’t work at this age.
2. All at once you are smacked with bills.
(and not just any bills, better yet, bills that put you in way over $20,000 in debt)Shout out goes to my university for that one! Dafuq did this happen? (RYE HIGH, HOWS IT HANGING YOU RICH BASTARD). In addition to this stressful transition from being a broke ass student to a broke ass young adult, you have a sudden realization that you are now experiencing normal financial responsibilities and obligations. Yay! However, it is at this stage where for the first time ever you discover that yourself and the majority of your friends are no longer on the same playing field.
Some of friends will land their dream job right out of uni, pulling in enough cashola to live their luxurious lifestyle, in their cute little condo, in their cute little neighborhood (usually in downtown Toronto), while enjoying their cute authentic, Instagram-worthy meals, while others can barely afford a pot to pee in because their student loans are so through the roof and they are unable to make any payments because they are unable to find any job/career in their field, usually because they studied something random like philosophy. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to what I like to call the “young adults great financial divide”! Welcome to a world where you and your friends can no longer agree on what group outings/activities are affordable and what is not.
3. You sometimes find yourself in the “in-between” stage among friends.
This is the stage where some of your bestest partners in crime decide it is a good idea to get “wifed” or “hubbied” up, get a house, make babies and the whole shebang while the other half of your pals are still getting white girl wasted, eating street meat after the club at 3AM (or better yet Shawarma!!! #yum), spending the night hugging toilets and not having the slightest recollection of how they got their sloppy ass home the next morning. Instead, you find yourself in this grey area where you sort of don’t fit into either. This just results in you being more confused than you already were about your silly age in the first place.
4. You start to notice that you can’t eat “whatever” you please to anymore.
Listen, I like food and I like to eat food even more. In my head I am already a 500lbs woman, however more recently I’ve realized that those thoughts may become a reality if I don’t cool it. It is just a little bit more complicated to stay in shape now and I know for damn certain that it is age related!
Yes I am still practically a baby, but let me tell you, at one time I could eat all I wanted and knew that only working out a few times a week, or remaining relatively active would help me stay in shape. Unfortunately, that is not the case anymore. It seems that the “freshman 15″ decided it enjoyed the party, caught feelings and is now going to stick around for the long haul. But meh, maybe it’s just me. Damn you muffin top, you SOB!
5. You are dying to move out of your parents’ house and live on your own.
But are slapped with the complex reality that you lack the financial means to do this. Unless… you have a roommate! If you are anything like me, the whole roommate idea not only freaks me out me but it makes me cringe. No offense to any of my beloved friends (you’re all the best!) but even the thought of living with you churns my stomach. Not because I don’t love you but simply because of all the potential ways this could pan out.
It is a 50/50 and there is no in between. You’ll either love the crap out of your roommate/bestie, making every night just like a sleepover, spending weeknights sprawled out in horizontal position on the couch in the living room, watching the Bachelorette or re-runs of Jersey Shore, asking your girl to pass you the Cheetos.
OR you’ll find yourself starting to come up with the best way you can get some harmless vengeance on him or her for constantly eating all of your cereal, stealing your protein powder, leaving the bathroom a repulsive mess or refusing to pay for their share of the Wi-Fi simply because they “don’t” need/use it. In that case they are full of shit because we’re in 2015. Common, even my grandma uses it.
Also, by harmless vengeance I mean doing something that would obviously not put anyone’s life into danger but give you the sweetest sense of gratification. Your roommate wants to be a disrespectful, unappreciative, princess? You can now sleep at night knowing that you secretly used their toothbrush to clean the toilet bowl. Or better yet, turn it up a notch and re-enact that scene from Horrible Bosses where Kurt shoves his boss’s toothbrush where the sun don’t shine. Lol, okay don’t actually do any of those things. However my point is, this uncertainty is way too big of a risk factor for myself.
I’d rather keep my friends as my friends and not run the risk of becoming archenemies, thank you very much. The truth is we all have our own habits and a different way of living. The smallest differences have the potential to become magnified, which can leave sweet besties or acquaintances extremely hostile, thus resulting in a disastrous falling out all due to living under the same roof.
I guess I managed to go on quite a rant here. However, do not lie for even two seconds; you know damn well you related to at least one or more of these points. Being in your mid 20’s you are, without a doubt, going to experience some of the best years of your life. However, this age has its faults and that’s just because it comes with so many uncertainties. In all honesty, it is just plain weird when you actually realize that you’re growing up!