It’s okay to not be okay. It really is.
I know we live in a world that expects us to be happy and fulfilled all the time, but the truth is that life isn’t always easy and straightforward.
It is complicated and messy. It is imperfect and flawed. It is heartbreaking and confusing.
It’s okay if you don’t know how to handle the hurdles life throws at you.
You do not have to feel strong and positive everyday. You can feel weak and tired, and you can feel disappointed and broken. It is okay to hurt and be vulnerable.
Lately, I’ve had this heaviness weighing on my heart. I wake up and everything just feels so intense. My optimism is slowly waning and I feel like I’m merely going through the motions—a zombie walking through my own life. I wake up and go through this endless cycle of sad and happy, sad and happy—and then I can’t sleep at night because I’m too busy worrying about awful things that happened last year and terrible things that may happen in the future. This feeling of hurt consumes me and eats away at my confidence and self-worth. I can feel my joy slipping away as the numbness settles in.
But like I said, it’s okay to not feel okay. You are allowed to feel sad, and it’s okay to let life completely destroy you sometimes. Pain is inevitable. You shouldn’t run from it, try to bury it, or refuse to acknowledge its existence, because someday it will all come rushing back and you will be forced to face it.
The thing that no one tells you is that you need to experience darkness before you can experience light, and whatever is hurting you now is also healing you in ways you may not be able to comprehend yet.
So I sit here and instead of trying to fake a smile or hide my pain, I choose to embrace it, because we are all imperfect beings just trying to make it through the day. I know that it won’t be like this forever. I will survive and thrive, but right now I am sad, and in this moment, that’s perfectly okay.