Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds, You Just Learn How To Live With Uncertainty

Sergey Zolkin
Sergey Zolkin

What happens if your motivator leaves your life? Your North Star who guides you through the stormy gale, just disappears out sight. What would you do?

You know the saying, “If you love something, set it free. And if it comes back, then it was meant to be”?

Well, what if that something was a someone and that someone left frequently, but always managed to come back eventually? What does THAT mean?

I like to think of the factor being “love”. Love is a powerful emotion to feel. Love consumes you. Love moves you. Love engulfs every fiber of your being with a burning passion. Love is intimate. Love is patient.

So if someone you love and care for leaves your life, then what do you do? Your motivator has vanished into thin air.

“Oh. Time heals all things.”

No. Behind that. Behind the small thing called a “front”. Most people perform a smile on their face as if nothing is bothering them. But just as how love is a deep emotion, so is melancholy. You put on smiles through the day – at work, at school, at the gym, at rehearsal. Then you come home, all by yourself.

You convince yourself that you are perfectly okay and all is good. Then you step into your room, see their side of the bed… Empty. Untouched.

The thing about time is that it does not heal all things. That empty space where that person resided in your heart, will always be there. A black hole just sucking anything good in your life downward into an abyss. You will think all is good, then an event will happen and you will try to be genuinely elated… But that person isn’t there to celebrate that experience with you.

You remember how you two agreed that it’ll always be you two, experiencing life’s journey together. Whether you’re best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, boyfriend/girlfriend, that journey together has now turned into a one-person, lonely, lost journey. Any good that comes into your life, you can’t be happy about because the thought of that person not being there to share your excitement will consume your mind. You will catch yourself lying in bed, staring at their side. Thinking of why they left, how you could have fixed the problem.

Melancholy is powerful. You may seem fine on the outside, but inside… you are disappearing into an abyss of sorrow and quietness.

Your motivator is gone, so why go work out? Your North Star has vanished, so where do you go?

Because of LOVE, you fight. You get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and you say, “This is our journey. I will work tirelessly to make it through. I will work endlessly to make our dreams come true. Just because they left, does not mean you just give up on life. No no. You still love them and they still have you in their mind, guaranteed. They loved you. They always will. Whether it is friendship, a relationship, a best friendship… each one has love in it. You will carry on, with the memory of their love. You will encounter events and moments that remind you of this person. But you will keep working to make your guys’ dreams come true. Time will go on.

Then one day…. you will run into this person. You will have achieved your guys’ goals, or will be in the process of achieving them. Will you acknowledge this person? For have they helped you achieve these goals? Have they helped you keep on persevering toward these goals? YES! YES. THEY. HAVE. Your memory of them, your love and care for them has pushed you to keep fighting.

The person may have left, but that emptiness in your heart… still remains. You have just trained your brain to use the hurt you feel and turn it into passion. This strong feeling of enthusiasm has kept you loving this person, even with their absence. And they will notice. That person will see you and will ask themselves, “Why did I leave? Why did I leave someone who truly and deeply cared for me through everything and anything?”

Maybe they were afraid of love. Maybe they were hesitant to feel vulnerable.

But look at what you did? You embraced love; therefore, feeling vulnerable turned into a passion for achieving your guys’ dreams that were set from day one by both of you. You still love this person. You still care.

So you don’t give up on them, like they did you. No no. You work with time to prove to them that you are their perfect love. You work on the journey yourself to work for the kingdom that you two should be sharing one day. You will embrace them with open arms and teary eyes… They realized what you have been trying to tell them since day one. Them realizing it will be worth the journey you take. If they realize it after a while, then they may come back. If they do, then they finally opened their eyes to see what has been in front of them all that time.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds. You just learn how to pass time gracefully with all the feelings of hurt, anger, and sadness and most important of all… Love. TC mark

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