The Things We Have To Teach Ourselves

Carmen Jost
Carmen Jost

We live in a world where body is attractive and brains are optional. We exist in a place where people want sex or nothing. The people that surround us make us feel like inferior belongings. Life has forced me to learn some rough lessons that have undoubtedly made me a better person. I’ve had to tell myself time and time again that I do not belong to anyone but sometimes it’s too easy to let someone fill your head with negative self-perceptions.

For me personally, it’s been certain guys that have made me feel inadequate. Any type of significant other has the power to either build you up or distort your thinking. If you ever feel unlucky enough to encounter a person that alters how you view life in any way other than positively, try and learn from it. I did and I now consider myself lucky that these people played a part in my life.

Things you’ve told me:

• I am not worth your time.
• You’ll beg me to hang out just to blow me off. You know I’ll say yes if you ask enough times.
• Your feelings are the only ones that truly matter.
• It’s not okay for me to be upset that you cancelled our plans hours after they were supposed to happen. This is mostly because you’re too upset about something for my feelings to count. No one feels emotions as deeply as you do.
• My time is best spent when scheduled around you.
• If I don’t answer your text right away I’m ignoring you, and if you need me I’ll drop whatever I’m doing to cheer you up. But if I’m having a bad day, you’re too busy to talk to me.
• If I don’t sleep with you, I’m wasting your time.
• I don’t deserve a text back if I’m not putting out. Having values makes me less desirable.
• Nothing is as great as my ass.
• “That booty, though,” is a compliment and because of the clothes I choose to wear, you’re allowed to stare, talk about, and ask for pictures of my butt.

Things I’ve taught myself:

• I am worth my own time.
• Wasting time on someone who consistently blows me off is a mistake I won’t make anymore. My time is too important to be spent on someone who thinks so little of it.
• My feelings count.
• I have bad days, just like everyone else. I also have a life outside of my phone. Sometimes I need a break from people, and sometimes all I want to do is be around people. You have to work with me on both days, just like I have to work with you on your good and bad days. I’d love to hear your story, but please do not make my story insignificant just because you think you’ve been through a similar situation.
• My time is best spent on my priorities.
• I’m focused on so many things that are important to me. While I’m confident in my multitasking abilities, I know I haven’t mastered the task. The fact that I’m busy isn’t something that you should take personally.
• Sex is always my decision.
• Just as it is your decision to say no, it is also mine. If we aren’t both saying yes, it’s a definite no. My values don’t make me a prude or undatable. If you don’t respect me for wanting to wait then I don’t want you to keep texting me.
• My ass is not the best part of me.
• Just because I have some body part you find attractive does not make it okay to discuss or stare. What you should really look at is my heart and my brain. Am I a kind person? Do I have goals? I’m sorry if you feel my education ruined us but my brain will get me much further in life than having a nice ass ever will. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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