Discussion: If You Cheat, Should You Always Tell?

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Though we all accept that lying, cheating, mistakes, and general misdeeds are a given in life, we often have a hard time accepting that these things will one day happen to us. But, at least statistically speaking, chances are reasonably high that one day, in a long-term relationship/marriage, one partner is going to slip up sexually in the relationship.

And while there are obviously acts of cheating which involve emotion, maliciousness, premeditation, or other acts of cruelty that clearly need to be addressed — what about the drunken hookup? The act that, while in a state of impaired function and under any number of social pressures, is immediately regretted? If your relationship is otherwise wonderful, and the act is something you are never going to repeat again — do you tell?

If you do tell, is it more about being honest with your partner, or assuaging your own guilt? Is ignorance really bliss? And what if it isn’t drunken, but still isolated and deeply regretted? Is there a line in the sand about when you do and don’t have to confess your indiscretions and, if so, where is it?

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