Most women want more foreplay before they enjoy the pleasures of intercourse. Foreplay is essential to building sufficient arousal before penetration of any kind, and most of us can’t get enough.
To that end, here are five fantastic ways to enjoyably extend foreplay every time you make love:
1. Foreplay starts in your mind.
Foreplay should start long before you hit the sheets. Let your erotic tension build up all day by allowing yourself to think about sex. Invite your thoughts to wander off and daydream vividly about what you want to experience when you’re with your lover.
The more detail you bring to your fantasies, the better! Your mind will start to send those yummy thoughts down to your body and you may find yourself wonderfully aroused when you finally see your lover.
By allowing foreplay to start in your own imagination, you’ll not only prime your body but also give yourself the chance to clarify what exactly you’re craving. Do you want tender, gentle lovemaking? Or do you want him to rough you up and toss you around tonight?
Let your erotic imagination lead the way. If you don’t know what you really want in bed, check out The Fantasy Method for a helpful interactive guide into your erotic imagination.
2. Enjoy a massage.
It’s often so hard to transition from a busy day to feeling like a sex goddess. If you need to de-stress and get in the zone, try a massage. Even five minutes of massage can flip your switch from stress to relaxation, bring your attention to the sensation in your body, and reconnect with your lover.
Don’t just settle for an amateur back rub. Treat each other to deep, satisfying massages. Soon, you’ll be swooning under your lover’s confident touch and your stress will melt away, allowing you to relax into pleasure and get ready for a delicious lovemaking session.
3. Take control in bed.
If your lover is always in a rush to move straight to intercourse, slow things down by taking control.
Ask your lover to relax on the bed and then take your time lavishing his body with slow touch. Every time your lover tries to touch you, lightly slap their hand away and let them know that you are in control for the moment.
Try flipping your lover over so they are face down, then kiss and nibble their shoulders and neck. Let them feel your body pressing into theirs and your weight pinning them down. Slowly build the anticipation and only allow your lover to touch you when his desire is urgent, throbbing, and immediate.
4. Ask for what you want.
Most lovers are more than willing to serve, but many get stuck on knowing just what to do. If you can get specific about your desires for more foreplay, you may find you have a more than willing partner.
Take some time to get clear about what your body craves. Do you want more feather-light touch all over your body? Do you want to spend more time kissing? Do you want to heat things up before sex with an erotic spanking?
Don’t assume your lover knows what you want; ask for it directly. Try saying something like, “You know what would really get me in the mood tonight? I want to feel you kiss me all over, biting me lightly as you go. Don’t stop until I tell you to.”
Receiving direct requests from your lover is incredibly hot! Try to cultivate a relationship where you both make requests for what you are craving so you can better serve each other.
5. Tease it out.
Foreplay doesn’t have to stop once arousal builds. Keep it going by teasing your lover, allowing their desire to build and build until it can’t be contained.
Many men rush toward intercourse because they don’t trust their ability to stay hard and sustain their pleasure. For men, a great handjob is a delicious way to learn how to suspend arousal without climaxing.
Develop your handjob techniques so you can bring him to the edge of orgasm and then suspend him there, prolonging his arousal and helping him learn how to stay hard longer. This will give you both more time to build arousal before you get to intercourse.
You can make foreplay the hottest part of making love, especially if you have the skills to keep one another in high states of arousal for long periods of time. Don’t feel the need to rush towards the finish line.
This post originally appeared at YourTango.