The 17 Guys You’ll Definitely Meet When You Use Dating Apps

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Tanja Heffner / Unsplash

Shopping online for dates can be a challenge with all kinds of complications. When the package arrives, is it what we anticipated, is it the right size, the right fit?

One can only truly know if the ‘product’ is as advertised when he’s knocking at your front door. It’s a risk and when it’s a date, you can’t pretend the ‘item’ was never delivered.

So you open the door to the date and to the possibility of a budding relationship, but who are you going to meet? In my experience they usually can be filed into these departments:

The curious case of the catfish 

One of the most common issues, the most flattering photos can be outdated, enhanced or just taken at a really good angle. Seeing a person move, talk and show expression in front of you is always incomparable to photos.

The personality mismatch 

Speaking via text can be misleading, you can interpret people differently than they really are. Witty on text doesn’t always translate into real life.

The pleasant surprise 

When your date is more pleasing than expected, aesthetically, personality wise, style, character or charm, game on.

The premier cru 

Like a fine aged wine your date becomes more flavorsome as the night unfolds. His charismatic personality promotes him to grand cru.

The sugar-coated almond 

They look divine but that’s about all they have going for themselves, often lacking personality or character.

The blooming flower

These guys may seem reserved at first but once you water the flower, their personality blooms and they become more desirable by the second.

The balloon

You’re impressed and charmed before you meet, his persona is promising until you spend longer than an hour together, the balloon starts to deflate. He’s not all he made out himself to be.

The chameleon

You’ll never really know these guys, they like what you like, they will do what you want to do. They want you to pick the venue and prefer you to take control.

The master of masquerade 

He poses as something he isn’t, he feels like your dream boy but before long the cracks in his mask start to show, beware, listen to your intuition.

The lust at first sight 

Oh so charming and bad never looked so good. They are fun to play with but you usually should put them back on the shelf after.

The no brainer 

He ticks all the boxes and you can’t wait for date number two, the new name for prince charming.

The love at first sight 

If you experience this one, baby you’ll know.

The clay buddha 

At first meet, you think you may need a wine or two to get flirty with him. On the outside he’s like clay but underneath, if you’ll give him your time you’ll see he’s solid gold. A keeper.

The magnet 

He’s dangerous, he reels you in without a choice. He’s the guy that walks into the room and owns it. He has that secret ingredient that makes everyone want him and want to meet him.

The Russian doll 

He doesn’t give away much, he’s humble, after a few hours together you’ll start to find out about his business he sold, or that he traveled the world. When you open him, inside is another surprise. He knows what he has to offer without bragging.

The wilting rose 

From the get-go he’s attractive but as the night unfolds his appeal wilts like a rose, insecurities start to creep in, he runs out of script and you run out of things to talk about.

The adhesive

He’s a clinger, and in his mind, he’s already planning your wedding. He showers you with compliments and tries to wrap around you like a koala on a tree. Nice at first, though also known to suffocate.

Who have you dated? TC mark

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