I’m a 21 y/o guy, and I desperately wish that I could’ve been born a girl. I’m 6’3 with broad shoulders, a barrel-chest, and a chiseled jawline, and I hate ever thing about my body. I find the male figure to be absolutely revolting. I always used to joke about being “a lesbian trapped in a guy’s body” back in high school, but after a while I realized it wasn’t a joke.
I walk around in jeans and a t-shirt just about everyday, but I always wonder how “girl me” would look in a breezy sundress or some cute lingerie. I can’t even manage to establish a relationship with a woman because I find myself so envious of how beautiful her body is and how I’m trapped in a body that makes me want to break every mirror I walk by.
I like to act girly and say girly things, which makes most people assume I’m gay, but to be honest I’d be a proud lesbian if it were my choice.
I don’t even know how to explain it to myself, let alone my parents. I cry myself to sleep sometimes about how I feel like a freak and I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do about my “problem”. All my life, everyone has been convinced that I’m just a normal guy who is content with his life, but that’s all a huge lie.
I know it’s not really a life-shattering secret, but it’s something I’ve had on my chest for the longest time.
I’m a senior in high school at the moment. In sophomore year, I came out to all my close girl friends, and am now very very close to all of them. I’ve slept in the same bed with them, dressed and undressed with them, even took a shower once with one of them.
I’m not actually gay, and just came out so that I could see them naked. My entire group of friends would completely shun me for life if they ever found out.
I am a closet atheist living in Pakistan if this comes out all my friends and family will most probably turn against me or worse.