Dalkey Archive, an independent publishing press based in Champaign-Urbana, IL, has delivered what Salon believes may be the worst job posting ever. I agree that it is a strong offering in the Depressing, Awful Job Posting Sweepstakes.
Any of the following will be grounds for immediate dismissal during the probationary period: coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies. DO NOT APPLY if you have a work history containing any of the above.
So the press is offering unpaid internships and stipulates that tardiness, giving unsolicited advice, talking on the phone, surfing the internet, “creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument,” gossiping, and “making repeated mistakes” are all grounds for dismissal during the probationary period. Niiice.
Personally I don’t want any job that fires me for surfing the internet.
If you get through that probationary period, maybe, possibly, you can have a job with Dalkey Archive, which presumably entails a salary of some kind?
Ironic that a publisher of Sterne, Rabelais, and Joyce-influenced literature is apparently utterly humorless!
The full job posting is here.