This article is optimized for guys. It’s as short and sweet as I can put while getting these points across.
1. The Arrogant Sons Of Bitches
Nothing gets another guy hot under the collar faster that an ignorant display of arrogance. Its one thing to have worked hard and earned enough money to buy something of your desire for example , and totally another issue altogether to remark that somebody else probably could not never afford it.
Stop showing off your shit especially if your mummy or daddy bought it as a birthday present or to reward you for your ‘good grades/behavior/being a good widdle boy’
2. The Annoyingly Overly Excited And Loud
Scientifically speaking, men are more receptive to high pitch vocal streams coming from ladies, and most find the sounds those ladies who have the “vocal sweet spot” makes rather pleasant to the ears.
However, if a dude tries to‚ while attempting to get a point across or trying to tell a story, speak in too high an octave, it gets really, really, really loud and annoying fast. I know, because I tend to do that pretty often (not intentionally) and I take cues from the way the other guys in the group cringe (subconsciously or not).
If you’re in public, please keep your conversation volume to within your group. No one gives a shit about which x-men you think is the most useless.
3.The Cock Blockers
You know who you are. FUCK YOU!
4. The Aunt-Agony To Our Girlfriends
It’s okay to lend a listening ear once in a while. But men, we’re possessive creatures. We are all the aunt agony our girlfriends need. I don’t need anyone unqualified telling her that we should go out and buy a jigsaw puzzle and go on a 72 hour jigsaw marathon to “strengthen our relationship.”
If you’re in that boat. Please refer her to her girl friends. Your job is to go out for a beer with me and give me a heads up and not judge me in any way. I will literally explode with rage if she comes home with a truck full of cute cat jigsaws.
5. The Competitive Freak
Stop turning every damn thing into a competition. I personally think it’s acceptable to have a healthy and funny contest every now and then, like who can fart the loudest or whatever. But if you’re going to the extent of challenging me on who can pee faster in the men’s room, wash our hands, dry our hands, and race me back to our seats etc, you get the idea.
6. The Ones In A Clique
Whatsthematter? I can’t come along for a bowling game because I don’t have the same kind of balls as you?
7. The Ones With No integrity
If I share something in confidence with you, guy to guy. It means I’ve placed a great huge deal of trust and faith in you and wish for your knowledge in finding a solution. It’s NOT okay for you to share it with your girlfriends/wives/mothers or other friends.
Simply put, another fond name for guys with no integrity is an ASSHOLE.
8. The Ones Who Love Acting Smart
I get it, you’re a double degree holder in economics and sociology or hold a doctorate from some fancy university.
I don’t need you to flaunt your immense wealth of knowledge by consistently proving you are right with detailed statistics and quotes from people in school textbooks.
If we were ever pulled over I also don’t need you to question the police on their logic on why was it necessary to wear a seatbelt when we were only travelling at such a slow pace.
9. The Ones Who Love Acting Stupid
Stop being an attention-seeking ass by pretending you didn’t know 1300 hours means 1pm so everyone can giggle at your stupidity. Guys know. We always do. Dumbass.
10. The Snowball Effect
For all the other assholes out there who don’t fall into any of the above categories. Here’s one just for you.
Once you get into my bad books, Every shit little thing you do is going to get on my nerves and it’s not going to stop until you find some way to make peace with the shit you keep doing.