Why Choose An Early Death?

wanchai / (Shutterstock.com)
wanchai / (Shutterstock.com)

I’ve been told that I have a certain effect that compels people to want to confide in me. I’m amused when I hear this and wasn’t able to decide whether it was a good or a bad thing until the day she confided in me.

That very day she had found out that her husband was having an affair. What rendered me stupefied and speechless was when she revealed that she intended to kill her children and herself.

Upon hearing that outrageous statement, I wondered where she had gotten her inspiration and what was she hoping to achieve in doing such a stupid thing.

I wanted to slap her out of her stupor. What kind of mother was she for wanting to kill not just herself but her children merely because of a straying husband? What gave her the right to play God and make such a senseless decision to also take the lives of her own flesh and blood? Why commit suicide and murder just because someone cheated on you?

Even though I empathized with her predicament and understood why she said what she had, it was still unjustifiable to entertain such a thought. It could merely be an expression of how much pain and betrayal she was feeling, but the fear that she would execute what she was contemplating still haunts me.

From a bystander’s perspective, it is easy to dish out advice in the hope of deterring someone from making a rash decision in the heat of the moment. But such advice can fall on deaf ears and it will take more than words to convince someone irrational to believe in the futility of their choice and the inhumane actions that they are about to commit, especially when rationality had left the building.

The main underlying problem lies with the mentality and the thought itself. Why is death chosen or seen as a solution to problems that we cannot seem to solve at the moment?

What has become of the human spirit that we no longer believe in overcoming obstacles when the going gets tough?

What kind of values will we impart to the young when we choose the option of killing ourselves instead of facing and solving the problem?

Choosing to commit suicide when life gets tough is indicative of a defeatist’s attitude.

To cave and choose to die when your husband shows his true colors—instead of seeing it as an opportunity to stop living a lie and start anew—shows nothing but folly.

It is saddening to note that even to this day, not enough is being done or said—especially in Asian society—regarding suicide prevention. And because of such tight-lippedness, the real issues that lead people to contemplate suicide remain unaddressed and unresolved. Do we really need to wait for a tragedy or many tragedies to happen before we realize that something is seriously wrong?

I was so close to losing someone when she decided it was too much for her to take. It was due to sheer luck that her attempt was discovered early enough to prevent a fatality. But not everyone is that lucky and before it is too late, I am writing this in the hope of discouraging anyone who has or is contemplating suicide—be it for whatever reason—to seriously assess the impact and value of your choice.

Is it worthwhile to give up and write yourself off as a tragedy when so many others are fighting so hard just to live?

You only have one life. Why choose an early death? TC mark

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