The other day, my mum got in touch with a long-lost friend. Seeing her joyful glow upon reconnecting with an old friend got me reflecting on my own friendships.
I recently reconnected with a friend I’ve known for a decade. We had our annual reunion and watched The Fault in Our Stars, and I reckon that together we could have caused a flash flood of tears in the theater. Hey, what can I say? We are only human, unfortunately cursed with being the gender that feels too much.
I’ve had friends who came and went, who flake, who hung around for something to gain, and who took advantage of what I could give—all in the name of “friendship.”
But there are also friends who stick by like invisible glue without having the need to openly declare all the time that you are BFFs. Here are the key traits that set them apart:
They will want to be a part of your life. They will stand by you. They will laugh and cry with you and afterwards laugh at you for crying—and to “commemorate” the moment, you will all end up taking selfies after. (I know, it’s a weird Asian thing.) They will listen to all your sob stories and accompany you (at the expense of their livers) to drown your misery with alcohol.
They will be willing to fly to a foreign land to spend your birthday with you just so that you will not have an otherwise miserable birthday. They will sacrifice time and go without sleep to help cross out things you have on your bucket list just because they care.
They will tell you to snap out of it and give you a kick in the butt when you need a good kicking.
They will tell you honestly how bad you really look and the toxic men/women you should avoid.
They are the ones who will encourage you to chase after your dreams when the odds are never in your favor. They will come to your every show and gig to support you when you first set up your retail store or cafe and help spread word around for what you do without drawing a commission from you. They are the ones who will make an effort with no excuses.
They are the ones who will, unfortunately, receive your drunk texts and calls when you need a place to crash and not leave you in the lurch. And you’ll remember to return the favor in kind, because that’s what friends do.