The Love I Thought I Had

You have become the dream I want to wake up from.

In the beginning, I felt hopeful and happy. I adored your creativity, your ability to inspire, and your strong moral code.

I enjoyed the support you rendered unconditionally, the pleasant surprises, and everything else you did. It felt comforting and heavenly to be loved and in love.

The good times never seem to last. Something went missing along the way, or it could have been a whole list of things which accumulated over time that were not addressed. Right now, everything feels strained, painful, and draining.

For the past few weeks, I have been reevaluating what I wanted in life and how you will fit in. It didn’t help when I told you how I was feeling and you went all passive-aggressive about it.

I have tried my best to bring you into the picture, but it doesn’t make much of a difference if you can no longer see nor appreciate the efforts being made.

Having to find out that there’s another person involved was a rude wakeup call. You could have at least had the decency to end things first.

Perhaps it was the crippling fear of knowing that someone did not love you enough or was never in love with you to begin with or that love can just fizzle out for whatever reason.

You and I have been sitting on the fence for too long and putting off the inevitable.

I really wanted this to work but I can no longer bring myself to try. I think about the things you used to say and I just don’t understand how I actually once believed in your crap.

So when I told you we should stop seeing each other, it came from wanting to wake up from this stupor. You had obviously woken up much earlier…thanks to her.

I wished I had something to take away from this, but I found nothing worth mentioning.

Maybe this is all it really is.

Only just a dream—a pure wastage of time.