I Don’t Need You (But I Want You)

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People don’t ‘need’ someone else. You ‘want’ someone else. What you need is yourself, your whole self. No one wants a shell, and they sure as heck don’t want a problem. And honey, you’re a problem if you’re not whole.

I never understood it before you left. It took you leaving for me to learn that catastrophic lesson. You NEED to be yourself, you need to know it through and through and find your peace. You really do need to be ‘YOU.’

I thought I needed you. But here I am, still breathing. Still singing the same songs and still killing the old ways.

In short, I don’t need you. But if you’re in for the long read, I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything before. I want to be the one you run to with good news and bad news. I want to be the one you halfheartedly fight with over bed space and whose turn it is to take the bin out. Those things are mine and I want them.

If you were me and I were you, I’d want me. I’d want the brown-eyed girl who would give me her raw heart. I’d want the curve of her spine pressed against my chest at night and I’d want her midnight Medusa-tangled hair itching my nose. I’d want the girl who read one of her many books to me until I fell asleep and who matches my tone of voice with my mood. I’d want the girl who’ll try anything, and works to better herself. I’d want the girl who saw not just the best of me, but the worst; the girl who’d stick around for it.

I’m a whole person so I don’t need you, I want you.