1. The safety dance. Yeah yeah, I know it’s obvious. But when you’re in the throes of half cut passion and he’s clumsily fiddling with aa rubber which he accidentally ends up snapping on his balls you’re going to get frustrated and you’re going to want him to just put it in already. Don’t do it. I caught Chlamydia this way. Which I then passed on to his best friend. But a couple of awkward photos and a judgemental sexual health nurse later and I was clap free and good to go on with my life.
2. To quote Daydream Nation (which you should all watch by the way) ‘The sexual revolution is like any other revolution…there’s going to be casualties’. There is always going to be a possibility that someone gets attached, it could be you or it could be your lover. You need to go into these situations with all your cards on the table, so there’s no confusion.
3. Don’t outstay your welcome. I can never be bothered to make up excuses to get whoever is in my bed, out of it. If you want a morning quickie that’s a different matter, but you’re there for sex. Not for bonding, that’s what your friends are for.
4. You don’t need to be close to the people you sleep with in order to gain intimacy during sex. Yes, some feel like they can’t feel anything if they’re not in love with whoever they are having sex with. But when his eyes are on you and you’re sweating all over each other and maybe you’re lucky enough to climax together (note: this is a rare and wonderful thing, treasure it for life) it can definitely be as intimate as any other sexual encounter.
5. Communicate. Yes another obvious one. But it’s imperative to remember. A couple of times I have regretted not getting someone’s number or even their name, because some people you’re going to have sexual chemistry with far more than others, or maybe you both have the same kinks. Let them know that you wouldn’t mind boning again some time.
6. Communicate. Déjà vu. If someone is going down on you and it feels like they’re trying to dig their way to Australia, tell them. Think of it as a service to every other girl they attempt to orally satisfy in the near future.
7. DO NOT FAKE YOUR ORGASMS. It’s not your responsibility to make someone feel good if they haven’t. I’m not saying climaxing is necessary for every great lay but it definitely helps. Another public service. They can’t go on with their lives thinking they can make a woman cum if they haven’t. They won’t lie about it. So why should you?
8. Don’t be the other woman. You want sex, not drama. Make sure the people you’re sleeping with are single or in an open relationship, just in a circumstance where no one is going to get hurt by a 45 minute meaningless thing. It’s just not worth it.
8. People are going to be mean. They’ll judge you for sleeping around, and they’ll question your brief encounters. They’ll call you all the stereotypical names under the sun. Because they are either jealous of your sexual liberation or they have nothing better to do than to get involved in business that is absolutely none of their concern. Don’t let them get to you.
9. Embrace it. You get yourself some. This is your time. This is your choice. GO YOU.