1. The ‘Ghost’
Unlike Casper, a ghoster isn’t very friendly at all. As a matter of fact, they’re a complete asshole. These are the people who disappear or “ghost” on you and will only communicate with you sporadically. You’ll be in the middle of a texting conversation when BAM! They’ll stop replying and you won’t hear from them for three days. Or you’ll have plans for a Thursday but they won’t text you until Friday…of the following week! There’s a special place in hell for these people I’m 100% sure, and it’s right next to Satan.
2. The chronic texter
Last time I spoke about the person who takes too long to reply to a text, but just as bad is the person on the other end of the spectrum – the one whose phone never leaves their palm. I just find it the gravest of offenses to be looking at your phone for any reason when you’re out with others, especially in a romantic setting. Only if your grandmother is sick in the hospital and you have to be by your phone for updates should this be tolerated, otherwise you can go an hour without checking your Twitter mentions.
3. The person who hears you but doesn’t listen
When someone responds with an “omg” “wow really?” “then what happened?” “that’s crazy” etc. you just KNOW they’re not listening. But it becomes more serious of an issue when this happens frequently and it’s with the person you’re dating. A sure tell sign they’re hearing but not actually listening is when their response is simply what you said…verbatim. For example, you may say, “I’m just having the worst day ever! I was late to work and forgot my lunch and I ran over a squirrel.” Someone who isn’t listening will most definitely reply “Wow I can’t believe you were late to work, forgot your lunch and ran over a squirrel”. If you don’t believe me, tell your boyfriend a story while he’s playing some stupid video game and see what his response it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
4. The person who keeps you a secret
Meeting your SO’s friends/family is like a rite of passage with any relationship. But if you’ve been dating for a while and you have no idea who any of their friends or parents/siblings are, that’s a huge red sign. Sure, you don’t have to be best friends with the important people in their life, but dang, you should at least know what they look like! And if you haven’t met any of them, it’s hella shady and a conversation definitely needs to be had.
5. The person who’s rude to their parents
Parents are annoying. I actually rolled my eyes typing this because trust me: I am the poster girl for the “My Parents Are Annoying” campaign. But I would never disrespect my mom or dad (in front of others). That’s just a golden rule. If you’re ever with your SO and they’re disrespectful toward their mother, run for the hills. If he or her cannot respect their own parent, how can you expect them to respect you?
6. The person who doesn’t let you pay
Don’t get me wrong; I love to be courted as much as any gal, and I’m a daddy’s girl so I’m really spoiled, but I can pay for my own penne alla vodka, dammit. If the guy wants to pay for the first/second date, okay whatever. But the third/fourth/17th date? Give me a break! If this person absolutely refuses to allow you to even reach for you wallet when the check comes, it may not be as chivalrous as you think it is, especially if you’ve been dating for a while. This could very much be a power trip and ain’t nobody got time for that.
7. The person who trash talks their ex
The biggest no-no of them all. The most cardinal of dating sins. As much hate in my heart as I may have for an ex, I will never talk about it with the person I’m currently dating – that’s what friends and siblings are for. If your new bae constantly talks trash about their ex, there’s definitely unresolved issues there aka it’s time for the “let’s just be friends” text. Not only is it immature but also it’s too much to deal with. Unless you’re going on a trip together, you don’t need someone with all of that baggage.