1. God, I hate the doctor’s office.
2. I seriously think I’ve gotten sicker since I’ve gotten here.
3. Is it me, or is there something in the air?
5. OMG that guy just sneezed into his hands!
6. Wait, did that little girl just freaking cough into the air?!?!
7. I need to gtfoh NOW.
8. I’m literally going to die in this waiting room.
9. How many people are ahead of me?
10. I can’t ask the receptionist again; I already asked thrice.
11. Ew, why’d I just say “thrice”?
12. This cold is probably getting into my head now, because seriously only a sick person uses “thrice.”
13. I got here 30 minutes early and they STILL haven’t called me in yet!
14. This is NOT okay.
15. I guess I’ll read a magazine.
16. OMG, why are all these magazines awful?!
17. Where’s the Cosmopolitans /other trashy celeb gossip mags?
18. If I’m about to get horrible news, I’d rather spend my last moments indulged in the lives of the rich and reckless.
19. Ugh, I probably really am dying, though.
20. At least that’s what MayoClinic and WebMD told me.
21. I really have to listen to my friends and stop looking up my symptoms on Google.
22. But what if I really do have cataplexy?
23. Is 22 too young to have a will?
24. I’m starting to feel a little faint.
25. That little girl who coughed and didn’t cover her mouth probably infected me!
26. Now all her hella nasty germs are swimming around inside of me.
27. I can actually feel my muscles deteriorating already.
28. OMG I AM dying
29. Even more than I was before!
30. But I’ve barely experienced life!
31. I have so much more I want to do!
32. Is the ceiling spinning?
33. Is the water in here safe to drink?
34. I need to get one of those disease masks.
35. I know people get made fun of for those, but I really think they’re on to something.
36. Wait, what if I have to get a shot?!
37. OMG I hate getting shots!
38. Just kill me now.
39. I literally, like, can’t even deal right now.
40. That’s it, I’m leaving.