40 Thoughts Of A Hypochondriac In A Waiting Room

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1. God, I hate the doctor’s office.

2. I seriously think I’ve gotten sicker since I’ve gotten here.

3. Is it me, or is there something in the air?

4. ~Diseases~

5. OMG that guy just sneezed into his hands!

6. Wait, did that little girl just freaking cough into the air?!?!

7. I need to gtfoh NOW.

8. I’m literally going to die in this waiting room.

9. How many people are ahead of me?

10. I can’t ask the receptionist again; I already asked thrice.

11. Ew, why’d I just say “thrice”?

12. This cold is probably getting into my head now, because seriously only a sick person uses “thrice.”

13. I got here 30 minutes early and they STILL haven’t called me in yet!

14. This is NOT okay.

15. I guess I’ll read a magazine.

16. OMG, why are all these magazines awful?!

17. Where’s the Cosmopolitans /other trashy celeb gossip mags?

18. If I’m about to get horrible news, I’d rather spend my last moments indulged in the lives of the rich and reckless.

19. Ugh, I probably really am dying, though.

20. At least that’s what MayoClinic and WebMD told me.

21. I really have to listen to my friends and stop looking up my symptoms on Google.

22. But what if I really do have cataplexy?

23. Is 22 too young to have a will?

24. I’m starting to feel a little faint.

25. That little girl who coughed and didn’t cover her mouth probably infected me!

26. Now all her hella nasty germs are swimming around inside of me.

27. I can actually feel my muscles deteriorating already.

28. OMG I AM dying

29. Even more than I was before!

30. But I’ve barely experienced life!

31. I have so much more I want to do!

32. Is the ceiling spinning?

33. Is the water in here safe to drink?

34. I need to get one of those disease masks.

35. I know people get made fun of for those, but I really think they’re on to something.

36. Wait, what if I have to get a shot?!

37. OMG I hate getting shots!

38. Just kill me now.

39. I literally, like, can’t even deal right now.

40. That’s it, I’m leaving. TC mark

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