Being in a serious relationship is kind of a big deal. You have that one person who’s always there, whenever you need them, ready to adorn you with hugs and kisses and kind words and love. And for most people, this is a wonderful concept and it becomes their number one life goal to find that special person to share these delightful feelings with. But not everyone thinks that way. As a matter of fact, there is a select group of people who exist and for them, reading the second sentence of this paragraph alone actually made them semi-gag. These are people I like to call commitment-phobes, and here are 6 signs you may actually be one of them.
1. Future Talk Makes Your Throat Swell
Ever been on a date with someone and it seems to be going effortlessly well until they ask you what you’re doing, I don’t know, two weeks from now? And you immediately can’t swallow your last bite from your meal because your throat is constricting? If yes, you’re not alone. You don’t know which series you’re going to binge watch on Netflix this weekend but this person wants to talk about 14 days from now?!? #nothanks. Seriously, thanks for ruining a perfectly fine outing before I even finished my chicken quesadilla. Rude.
2. You break out into sweats thinking about Robert Pattinson/Rosalie Hale
If the only person you see yourself even remotely in a steady, adult relationship with sparkles when the sun radiates off of their skin and only stares at you with smoldering eyes, it may be time to admit that you’re hiding behind a fairytale. Is it an epic fairytale worthy of shamelessly indulging in it at the age of 22? YES (#TeamEdward). Is it considered an appropriate example of what to base your next relationship off of? That’s going to be a hard ‘HELL NO’ from me.
3. Lengthy happy times together give you anxiety attacks
Does constantly disagreeing make you feel alive? Have you found yourself purposely arguing over how it’s even conceivable that the person you’re dating could possibly not be a fan of OITNB? If you realize that you’re incessantly nit-picking at every thing they like/hate or do/don’t do, it’s because you’re looking for a reason for them to dump and despise you so don’t have do it yourself.
4. You full-on faint thinking about meeting the family
Normally, meeting your new love interests’ family/bffs means the relationship is getting ~pretty~ serious and it’s worth rejoicing over. But for you, when they text you “brunch at my parents this Sunday?” your initial and only reaction is “………..but why…?” Then all these terrible possibilities pop to mind like, what if their mother actually likes you? What if their dad invites you to Christmas dinner? What if their clingy little sister wants you come to her tea party with her obscene amount of stuffed animals? Oh, the terror.
5. Physical interactions cause heart papilations
The only thing worse than future talk, is present discomfort. Unwanted hand-grabs, perceived inappropriate grazes, rubs, touches, eye contact, etc. are the worst. Studies show that holding hands and hugging releases dopamine (the body’s natural happy drug). You’ve come to terms with the fact that you can do without it.
6. Read receipts are your thing
Everyone knows only rude, inconsiderate people turn their read receipts on for their iMessages. Letting someone know that you’ve seen his or her message at 6:34pm and it is now 10:17 pm and you’ve yet to reply is bold, bold, BOLD. But for the anti-committer, it’s kind of exhilarating to let someone know that you’re actively avoiding him or her because maybe then they’ll take a hint. Basically, you’re a free bird who does whatever he or she wants. A rude bird, but a free one nonetheless.