Rejection hurts. It can trigger feelings of unworthiness anger, jealousy, and resentment. We take it as a sign we failed. Rejection can make us feel alone. And to top it off, those feelings may stick with us, sometimes for years.
We have all experienced both sides of rejection. We have rejected and we have been rejected. It does not feel good any way you slice it.
What if, we changed our attitude, and looked at rejection differently? Changing the way we view rejection, allows us to alter our response to it.
What if rejection is just selection?
Let’s look at a scenario. I love hats! I love to wear them, I love to look at them. Sometimes just trying them on gives me joy. When I look at my wall of hats I carefully select the one that is appropriate for the day.
Maybe a baseball cap if I go for a hike or a beanie if it is cold. Sometimes it’s a giant brimmed hat to protect me from the sun. When I choose the hat for the occasion, I am not rejecting all my other hats, on the contrary, I love my hats. I am simply selecting the best one for the occasion.
Life is a series of scenarios. How we choose to respond creates who we are. Altering how we respond when faced with rejection can help us cope.
How we choose to respond to situations is 100% within our control. When rejection enters our world, altering our view of it can make all of the difference in how we allow it to affect us.
1. Perception: Shifting our perception can alter our mindset. Let Go of how you perceive rejection. Rejection is not a rebuff on who we are, so let’s not take it personally. It is a selection process, made by the other parties, based on specific criteria. We are not always the right fit, and that is okay.
2. Redirection: Not getting chosen can signal it is time for a redirection. Take a moment to look at the path you are on to see if a turn needs to be made.
3. Protection: Doors that close may be for our own protection from something, a choice, a job offer, or a move that is not right for us. When a door closes it asks us to stop, look and listen, putting us on notice to look around.
4. Reaction: When we have a strong reaction to something, it is ideal if we can step aside from it for a moment and take a breath. By doing so it allows us to observe without being reactive. Cultivating a flexible mindset will allow us to slow down before we overreact.
5. Projection: Perceived rebuffs may be projections of our own inadequacies. Sometimes when we are in the face of rejection we falsely read into it.
6. Question: Repeatedly being rejected may indicate it is time to question if we are taking the right action. It may be the opportunity to change a behavior, update a resume, or adjust an attitude.
7. Reflection: Ultimately rejection leads us to a place of self-reflection. A time to look within, re-group and then to re-emerge.
Life is about growth and growth starts from within. Understand rejection comes into our lives as lessons to be learned… learn to Let Go of rejections by rethinking what they are here to teach us. Then we can Let Go and be free.