I watched you disappear from my eternity like the sunset.
Your piercing blue eyes stared angrily at me like the familiar blue at the daytime sky. In your eyes, I only see the reflection of the memories our lost love. The remnants of our once blazing love slowly fades into a few clouds that catch the last red-orange rays of the setting sun. This last few fiery moments of the sky illuminates our once flaming passionate love for one another but as we both know, its intensity will soon fade away – and this powerful symphony of warmth will soon quiet down as you wave goodbye to me – this splendid moment is about to end or the ephemerality of existence that sunset reminds me.
I only wish and hope that you are the rays of the friendly sunset that promises sunrise and that I will see you again. But after the most spectacular moment in a sunset, I experienced darkness. Long shadows appear that reverberates your loss. And you are forever gone. That once glorious color in the sky disappeared with you and here I am in the depth of darkness lonely without you. I could only hope for sunrise – sunset’s promise on the new day, but the severity, the length and the depth of the darkness stayed with me until I found a glimmer of hope for the remaining love I have saved for myself.
This Self-Love helped me go through the darkest times.
Those times I had almost given up hope because darkness brought by your loss can seem as unchanging and even unending as the night. I may understand that the sun will come out, the dawn will break, but it feels as if that will never happen. I longed and yearned for you! My personal nights without you seemed relentless, with little progress towards sunrise. And so I allowed grief to offer me love, guidance, and lessons learned in our relationship to hopefully inspire dawn.
As I went through the dark times without you, my soul found a way for a new phase of life; a time of renewal; healing and rest. I found it a real blessing that in between night and dawn, I prepared myself, learned, and moved ahead with my new challenges. The night is a part of the promise of my sunset. I learned to accept and appreciate the rich darkness, the deep quiet that prepared and empowered me of the coming dawn. Those dark moments in between showed that dark places strengthened the revealing of my true self.
In between sunset and sunrise, when I lost you, I found myself, and she transcends light!