When you are exposed in the real world, you will most probably experience being rejected and criticized. These may seem unavoidable while going up the ladder, but there are some ways that can help you handle and fully accept it. You have to know the difference between what is fair and what is unfair criticism. Knowing the difference between the two is already a big step on overcoming it. However, there are still a lot of small things for you to know and learn before you can effectively handle rejections and criticisms. You need to learn how to avoid things that will only make you feel rejected and criticized and learn to often do the things that will make you feel good about your work and yourself as a person. Here is the list of things that you need to avoid and you need to do:
Things you need to avoid:
1. Pleasing everyone around you
You cannot please everyone around you especially at work when you are still trying to build your place in a company. You need to avoid thinking that every good work you do, will also result to a positive appraisal from your colleagues or boss. It does not always work like that. It will only be you that can tell if you have done your job in an exceptional way.
2. Being emotional
It will only destroy your self-esteem if you let criticisms enter your heart instead of using your mind. Being emotional will also make you react in such an unreasonable way, that will only lead you to the worst decisions you will make throughout your career life.
3. Being defensive
Avoid trying to defend yourself from every criticism you receive from people around you. Do not take fair criticisms personally.
4. Seeking for approval
This is very important when you are just a starter and still earning the trust of people you are doing work with. Do not try to evaluate your worth from the feeling of being needed by other people.
Things you need to do
1. Ask yourself why are they trying to criticize you
Maybe they are doing it because they can see something negative from your attitude or it may be because of more professional reasons. Whatever the roots of it, it will only be you who will know it and find ways on how to improve or change it. You are the only one who knows yourself better than the others.
2. Ask them nicely for an explanation/reason
You can always ask. Try to let them know that you feel too criticized and you need to have clear reasons that may help you in assessing yourself better. Ask them where it is coming from, may it be from personal matter or professional concerns.
3. Be ready
Always be ready for harsh comments. You cannot control people who wants to express their feelings especially if it is rooted from anger, disappointment, or hatred. Take as much criticism as you can take and plan a responsible decision and action afterwards.
4. Assess yourself
Yes, there is a need for you to assess yourself from time to time even if you feel that you are in your best shape at work or any matter. This will help you track your shortcomings and look for an effective solution.
5. Support system
This one is an essential part of building your self-confidence particularly at work. Whenever you feel rejected, you always have to let it out. Let your heart and mind be free from negativities and instead cling on to the most important persons in your life. Owning the second place who knows you well are your family and friends. We all know that they can always give you the sense of belongingness and recognition without asking for it.
6. Be systematic
Take notes, never let the same thing be a source of feeling of rejection. Try to be more organized, this can help you in assessing yourself afterwards. Pinpointing reasons and jotting down notes on how you had overcome your previous dilemmas is a good thing to do if you are serious in building your worth. Always learn from your past.
7. For more serious cases, ask for a counsel
If you feel that your feeling of rejection is getting too serious and you cannot handle it anymore, try to do counseling. Try to visit professionals that can help you recover and gain what you have lost.
BUT, if you feel like you are on the right position and have asked someone who gave the same sentiments that you are being judged for wrong and biased reasons, you have to try to voice it out in a nice and calm way. If it still does not goes well, then just let the conversation end without trying to make a fight even if you have to fake it. Just always remember that It will only be you that can limit yourself. How long you will go in your chosen path will not be determined by those who can only see what you have done today. Remember that they did not see you striving to be where you are now. Always keep your faith on yourself and not on other people.