I’m a 20-something and I haven’t really dated anyone. There, I said it.
Society tells me there’s something wrong with me. I say, no way! I’m pretty independent on my own (even if I do have to sing the song to spell it out) and having a boyfriend wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. He, whoever “he” may be, just isn’t in the picture at the moment. While I don’t really need a man, I’m thankful I don’t have one right now. Track with me here, there are some practical reasons why it’s okay to be a single 20-something:
1. I’m a recent college graduate. With an English degree. Trying to find a job.
That enough is reason in itself to not be in a serious relationship. Needless to say, I am applying for jobs and trying to find a half decent LinkedIn picture. That’s difficult to do alone. If I had a boyfriend, that would carry some weight on my job making/applying decisions. I would maybe apply for this job because it’s closer or not apply for this job because I wouldn’t be able to see “boo thang” except on the weekends. If I had to limit myself to certain jobs because of a guy, it would make the whole being employed thing much more difficult.
2. All my friends are getting married now. (Well not all my friends, but a lot.)
This means I can go to their weddings and see how things go. Of course we’ve all been to a wedding before, but with people you’re close with or your roommates it’s different. You see how much planning goes into choosing whether we want teriyaki or BBQ chicken and what if we invite cousin Sue we have to invite aunt Jill and blah blah blah. While getting married is good and all, planning a wedding sounds horrible. Seeing my friends go through this, I get to pick and choose what I like and don’t like from their experiences. It’s like being the younger sibling — something I have never been accustomed to, being the eldest-and watching your big sisters make all the bad decisions and get in trouble and learning that whatever you do you will not leave the walkie talkies in the rain or “forget” to wash the dishes.
3. I can focus on my friendships and myself.
There’s a lot I don’t know. I can focus on my friends and how I can be a better friend to them. I can focus on what I like to do and how I can best serve others. I can do what I want and not have to explain it to someone. I can eat peanut butter by the spoonful and watch friends reruns or go camping for a weekend and it’s okay. I can plan things with my friends and spend time with them and invest in their lives.
4. I’m strong and independent.
I can start a fire. I can kill spiders. I can bait my own hook. I can fix things or change a lightbulb and do the “guy stuff” that needs to be done. Not that married women don’t have the ability to do this, but I get to…and it’s fun. Plus there’s plenty of songs for the single girl’s playlist-looking at you Beyoncé!
5. I have time to think about what I want.
Because I’m not dating anyone, I have time to think about what I want from a relationship. I get to think through character traits that are not negotiable in a guy I’m gonna date or fun dates to go on. I get to see others’ relationships and learn from them (kinda like #2).