In life and in love, you’ll get fucked over by the ones you least expect and you’ll never see it coming, though you should have from the very start. I’ve always assumed the best in people. I trust easily, I give love more easily and I expected people to do the same for me. That’s how much faith I had in humanity. But I don’t know, I just end up being screwed over somehow. I guess I should be more cautious in the future. I always desired the love I’ve been so accustomed to seeing in movies- the pulse-pounding, reach-for-the-stars, head-over-heels kind of love. Movies exaggerate love. Every movie is meant to give us an example of how love and relationships are supposed to be. Lies. It’s all just theatrics. Let’s talk more about the lies Hollywood has fed to us since we were children, shall we?
1. Love at first sight
Remember the scene in Big Fish when Ewan McGregor sees this girl and suddenly everything stops and he falls in love with her immediately? That’s a bunch of bullcrap. For all he knows she could be bat-shit crazy. No one falls in love that easily. Yeah, sure, you could look at one person and admire how they look, but that’s infatuation, that’s not love. I have always wanted for that moment to prove to be true someday, but I don’t think that ever happens in real life. I don’t fall in love with someone for their looks, I fall in love with their personality, their brain, and their ability to talk to me about just anything in the world.
2. Somehow, the Universe has its way of bringing two very unlikely people together and everything works out in the end because their love is so great
Yeah, the Universe is weird. I’m not saying it’s impossible for things to work out for other people in unconventional situations, but based on my experience, I’ve learned that no matter how hard you try, even when the circumstances are starting to light up, there will always be something fucked up that can ruin everything. It wasn’t that the distance was too great that it didn’t work, but things just change and mostly, it’s beyond our control. I guess it happens that no matter how much you love someone, if that person doesn’t love you back, it’ll never work.
3. The first kiss is ALWAYS magical
I’ve had my share of multiple first kisses. Some were awesome, and others were just too awkward. But hey, gotta practice right? I know I have to kiss a few frogs to get to Prince Charming.
4. The One will sweep you off your feet
Oh God, remember when Gerard Butler died and sent letters to his wife everyday? Damn. That was creepy. If I were widowed early and started getting letters from my late husband, I would seriously freak out. It was a nice gesture, but I think my husband would know me well enough to let me just forget him and try to move on. It’s awesome to get a few flowers (like the daffodil scene from Big Fish) and be dedicated a song to (Heath Ledger singing I love You baby was orgasmic) once in a while, I like shit like that, but please if you’re dead, don’t haunt my everyday life while I’m trying to move on. PS I love you is still a very touching movie, nonetheless. I have cried multiple times watching it.
5. Sex is always pleasurable for both parties
I’m not saying it wasn’t pleasurable for me, it was sometimes. But I get the whole theatrics Hollywood gives to sex scenes. Sometimes, sex is just awkward and uncomfortable. It’s not as loud and romantic as Hollywood makes it seem. Sometimes you don’t get what you want from the experience, but you know, for the sake of love, you’ll endure the pain or somehow the lack of feeling.
6. Happily Ever After
Maybe it exists, maybe it doesn’t. It comes with a lot of determination and effort to make things work til the end. It doesn’t really work that way for a lot of people, especially nowadays. I think those who strive to be happy and are not co-dependent on another person are the ones who truly find that happiness. Couples, especially those who have been married for a long time would tell young people that it’s not happily ever after that they strive for, but just being able to live with this person who they chose to commit themselves to and grow old with and because they love them, they try not to kill them. Ever after doesn’t end when you get married, it’s a lifelong process. You try to become a unit with this person for the rest of your life, and that’s never easy. We’ll never know when our happily ever after will be. It’s just a matter of time and effort.
Okay, some of these “Lies” aren’t really lies, and I was probably just being subjective because of my experiences, but you get my point, right? The Disney movies are the worst. I can’t believe we’re letting our children watch that crap, especially when we’ve fallen victim to the same crap when we were younger. But you know what I realized? It’s good to have these false realities about love. It helps us believe that something beyond our rational capacities could grasp exists.
Because of these movies, regardless of the falseness I’ve learned in them, I still believe in love. I am still a hopeless romantic. I still want to look at somebody and instantly know that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with this guy. I still want to fight for something that is so unlikely and make things work because that’s how much I love this person. I still want that true love’s kiss with somebody I love, not just a random drunk make-out session with a stranger. I still desire to be swept away by flowers and songs and lengthy love letters by someone who truly loves me. I still want to be passionately intimate with the person I love, and I don’t care what happens in bed. And most importantly, I want to get married, travel the world, have two kids, a dog, a cat, a hedgehog, 10 chickens, a pig, a big house with a huge yard, and grow old with this wonderful person the Universe decided to reward me with after so much heartache I’ve been through. That’s what I want.. Call me stupid for it, but I don’t know how else to love.