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My Favorite Crackpot Theories

Elvis is still alive? I couldn’t care less. Bigfeet on the prowl? Fun idea, but we’ve driven much more robust species than Bigfoot into extinction since the Patterson film came out. Obama is really a Muslim? Yawn.

The Oprahverse

She’s all about the self-determined destiny. This comes from hanging out constantly with celebrities, the cultural lottery winners of the world, and asking them about their origins and beliefs. Sure, some of them say they were lucky in some way, but what Oprah really digs for is that little gold nugget of ego in everyone that says, “I did it my way, and I always knew I would!”