When you feel like you can’t go on, please hold on. It’s tough darling, but you’re tougher.
It’s easy to feel like you’re a boat stuck in the middle of a raging sea, or a woman stuck in the middle of a crowd persecuting you. People will judge you without knowing you and people will hurt you without a single ‘sorry’ at times. Sometimes, the world crashes down upon you and you will feel like you have no more strength to carry on.
Motivational quotes become clichés and words of encouragement seem to pass you by. You will wake up in the morning and want to sleep a little more, in hopes that you will sleep forever. You will walk around in public, lost and afraid but unwilling to go home, even though your heart desperately searches for a home. You will sit in the corner of your room and allow your tears to start flowing for no god damn reason at all. You will be attracted to people stronger than you because deep down, you are hoping that they will save you.
Despair will fill up your lungs whenever you hear something that sounds remotely close to what you are going through. Jealousy will plague your soul whenever you see someone having what you don’t. You will try to cover up your flaws with more makeup, nicer clothes, colder vibes and ‘cooler’ expressions. You will work harder and harder and try to be smarter, better, fitter in hopes that someday, someone will look at you and love you for all that. But when that person appears, you will start to doubt if he truly knows you at all.
When you feel like it’s the end, you can’t wait for the end, but yet you are desperate to find a reason to hold on because deep down within your soul, you know you are meant for more. I’ve been there, I’ve felt what you feel, I’ve walked through paths similar to yours. The emotions are intense, the hurt is real and the feeling of desolation, it’s tiring.
It’s tiring to smile, to pretend, but you would still do it anyways because no one cares enough to understand.
But trust me please. Right here and now as you are reading this, someone truly loves you. He loves you despite knowing your flaws, knowing how you are covering up your pain. He loves you despite your past, despite the words you spoke, the cuts on your wrists, the things you did just to feel loved. He loves you because He made you and because He made you, He knows you. He knows your heart and He wants all of it. Your broken heart is all He wants. So please hold on. Don’t quit now. Just remember that you are loved. You are loved. You are so loved. You are so, so, so loved.