You are patient, waiting extra months to see films after their initial run in theaters has concluded. If it’s not a movie you’re dead set on seeing immediately upon it’s release, this is the most financially friendly way to watch films in this day and age. For those that utilize the redbox, you all know just how magnificent they are. It’s almost like the second you spot one of those beautiful, glowing, red… boxes, a heavenly choir can be heard singing a glorious hymn, as you shuffle through the ‘New Releases.’
Oh, also, watching movies predominantly through redbox means you probably have solid memory. At least, for your sake I hope you do, because there’s nothing more frustrating than accidentally forgetting to return your redbox movie on time, thus defeating the bank account friendly purpose of going there in the first place.
At The Movie Theater
If you strictly visit theaters during matinee, that means you’re a money conscious individual who is unwilling to pay absurd amounts to watch films in the evening – and for that I commend you. I don’t quite understand how The Great Gatsby at 7 PM is worth $5 more than the showing eight hours prior, but according to my homie Fandango, it’s like that, and that’s the way it is.
Even if you don’t do matinee, the fact that you make a conscious effort to see films while they’re fresh and in theaters speaks volumes. You may not be a hardcore movie buff, but it takes some kind of fan to throw patience out of the window and dish out cash to see movies shortly after their release date, while sipping down and chomping on overpriced Icees & popcorn. Sidenote: If you only go to the midnight, premiere showings, you’re a social butterfly who is attending not only for the film, but also for the energy of a packed theater. Enjoy jockeying for dominant position of that armrest with your neighbor. Speaking of which, what’s the proper etiquette for armrest possession? How do we know who gets which one? These are things you don’t worry about when you watch movies via other methods, such as…
You’ve often followed the ‘pajamas over people’ lifestyle, and Netflix is your best friend and biggest enabler. You’re also capable of making a little go a long way — for eight measly dollars or so, you have granted yourself access to an abundance of movies, and you prefer that over spending to rent/watch in theaters. You’re that person who can take $20 to the store and return with several bags full of groceries, which you will now consume over the next few days while you avoid leaving your front door and interacting with society.
Movie Channels (HBO, Showtime, etc.)
You don’t mind having absolutely no say in what you watch, because by depending on these channels you’re at the mercy of their schedules. One day they might play Norbit three times, then hit you with something random like Corrina, Corrina, the next could be a hefty serving of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids with one showing of Robin Hood squeezed in the mix. You are comfortable with unpredictability. Also you might be well off financially, or living at home with your parents, because most broke folks aren’t splurging on the premier cable packages that include these channels.
You refuse to evolve with technology, and because of that, your movie watching is limited to stuff from the late 90s and/or early 2000s, tops. You own and regularly use a VCR, which means you simply aren’t interested in anything that happened after the year 2002. The next time your ancient, brick sized Nokia phone rings, and your friends invite you to go watch a movie, take them up on that opportunity and see how far the special effects in films have come since Independence Day.
You would be a redbox person, but apparently you have more money so you just purchase instead of renting.
My goodness, what are you doing? You poor thing, nobody told you? There are ways around spending $4 (or whatever they charge these days) to rent movies that came out in theaters months ago. You probably remember Blockbuster fondly. Yes, it was an option when you rented Disney movies a couple decades ago, but you’ve refused to explore other options. Clearly you’ve got a hard time letting things go, but I assure you that this is one of those instances in which you should. Whatever Blockbuster you go to is probably in a shopping center, and you know what else is there? A store – one that’ll have a Redbox, where you can rent the same exact stuff for significantly less money.