1. The Something Bad Happened To Someone You Don’t Like Day
It’s not so much that good found its way to your front door, as it is bad kicked down the walls of your nemesis or an individual you aren’t fond of. I know, it’s awful. We’re awful. Still, it happens. Jacob Hall, who embarrassed me in front of my 8th grade crush, Janice Ward broke his leg? Ha! Karma is a bitch, dude. Then, for the rest of the day you’ve got a smirk and a pocket full of sunshine because that enemy isn’t having the best luck. Look, we all know we shouldn’t find pleasure in another person’s struggles, but that was Janice Ward, so enjoy 6-8 weeks on crutches Jacob.
2. The “I Give No Fucks” Day
At some point you decided that being emotionally invested in that day wasn’t worth it, and now you just don’t care. This can mean anything from calling out of work to silencing your phone, to eating an entire jar of Nutella, to excessively using the phrase “not my problem,” when anyone comes to you with an issue that day. Obviously we can’t do this everyday. I mean, you could, but there’ll likely be some backlash such as unemployment or zero friends – but hey, studies (conducted by me personally) have shown that it is possible to get by giving only 2-3 fucks per day.
3. The I Met Someone Day
So today was supposed to be a regular one, but at Chipotle you met a cute guy and had a long, in depth conversation about life goals, ambitions, inspirations, and the tenderness of barbacoa. For the rest of the day you’ll wear a smile, having the enthusiastic body language of a dancing character in an upbeat musical, passing out high fives and hugs as Frank Ocean songs playing in your head and you wonder, “Is this love that I’m feeling?” It’s probably just gas from the Chipotle, but still, soak up the pleasure of thoroughly liking someone, because eventually you’ll actually get to know the real version of that person and they’re probably, definitely, possibly terrible.
4. The Social Network Success Day
Social network attention is often overvalued in this day and age. Receive lots of it and a person’s ecstatic. None, and they wonder if the entire world hates every fiber of their being. It seems like most people are thrilled to be noticed online, and at times many of us are guilty of paying attention to these insignificances. The Internet and social networks are their own little worlds and likes, retweets, favorites, comments and replies are its currencies. In the long run, the worth and stock of these types of things will likely plummet, but for now folks can revel in the glory of their faux fame and pseudo acceptance.
5. The Day You Don’t Even Have To Use Your AK
Since most of us don’t actually use an AK on a daily basis, it’s more of a metaphor for anticipating having to be mean and nasty to someone, or simply snapping, then having an unexpectedly pleasant day. Maybe your obnoxious co-worker was unknowingly one snarky remark away from getting dropkicked, or you were one more financial mishap away from a nervous breakdown. The point is, you were fully expecting to lose your mind, and you didn’t. The universe recognized a potential crisis alert, and delivered you a lovely 24 hours of stress-free living.
6. The Freshly Motivated Day
Watching rousing videos, reading a brilliant, encouraging article or catching a P90X infomercial that motivated you. Now, you want to workout, or go back to school, or quit your job, or travel the world, etc. and you’re feeling pumped up about it. The people who are able to maintain this drive and enthusiasm are often the ones who remain in a constant state of happiness, which I envy. Being inspired and having a day of progress is doable, it’s the preservation of those feelings that’s difficult. Unfortunately there isn’t a Ziploc bag capable of keeping the feelings fresh, but next time you catch yourself having ‘The Freshly Motivated Day,’ do everything in your power to uphold those good day vibes.
7. The Started Off Terrible But Turned Out Awesome Day
Some mornings begin in frustrating fashion and have all the makings of a rough day. We assume that the waking up late, the stubbing of your toe on a nightstand, and the hastily heading to work, only to have to go back when you realize you left your wallet, is all foreshadowing what will be a very trying day. Then stuff happens. Maybe you find $5, or win a raffle, or get a Venti for the price of a Grande, or meet Rashida Jones or see Ben & Jerry’s on sale, and suddenly the tables have turned. Nothing tops a real-life twist ending that actually involves good things.
8. The Significant Life Changing Opportunity Day
A job promotion, a marriage proposal, an opportunity to move to a new city – these are the legitimate occasions that warrant a celebration and more than just a good day, but a good week, month or year. Unfortunately these are few and far between for most of us, but when they do come along they are worth relishing. Write a Facebook status or Tweet about it, if you get a large response from friends and family, you’re now having two types of good days in one.