Thought Catalog

5 Reasons Why Falling In Love Is So Hard

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Hitch (Widescreen Edition)
Hitch (Widescreen Edition)

1. Labels terrify some people and uncertainty terrifies others.

For whatever reason, modern dating has become a foggy, confusing, vague limbo in which people are together when they’re physically together, but unclear what they are if they have so much as a wall between them. See, commitment issues or some ulterior motives keep many beating around the bush of “official.” They’ll avoid discussing or accepting any type of label by any means necessary. As a result, the other person involved is a confused, uncertain guy or gal, often left feeling fearful and uncomfortable, not knowing if that’s the person they’re WITH, or the person they’re with right now. Two scared people doesn’t result in one, successful love.

2. We see people getting screwed over so often.

It’s hard to trust anyone these days, and that stuff is kind of important in the preservation of a relationship. You’ve got to fully believe in the person you’re with, because you certainly can’t rely on home wrecking or unknowing folks to preserve your relationship, and refrain from attempting to get involved with your significant other. Friends, acquaintances, enemies, even family members have been a part of cheating scandals – we truly see it all these days. You simply have to have faith in the person you’re with to be loyal to you. I see some people who don’t trust their boyfriend or girlfriend in a room alone with their puppy, much less fighting off the temptation of another human being. Trust issues turn some people off, and so many people have them as a result of past experiences.

3. Some people are so, unbelievably shallow.

You can’t jump into the deep end with someone who’s swimming in the shallow. I mean, you can, but I wouldn’t recommend it. If someone is all about looks, they may lust for you, but if you have serious feelings on your side, that’s a recipe for disaster. Anyone who can be turned off enough to terminate a connection because of body hair, weight, or aesthetics in general isn’t worthy of you to begin with. Unfortunately, being well aware that so many people care so much about appearances can make a person extra cautious. There are just so many ridiculous body expectations enforced by shallow people that make others hate themselves and have no confidence, which can become an impediment in the process of love.

4. Quitting is easier than fixing.

Relationships can take a lot of work and unfortunately people aren’t always willing to put in effort, resulting in breakups over the tiniest qualms and minutiae. Maybe people have watched so many movies that they’ve come to believe love should start out amazing, then in act two there’s a little bit of drama, but after that’s hashed out, everything is just peachy. Couples disagree. They argue, they get annoyed and exhausted of one another’s BS, and they have struggles, but life isn’t a Nicholas Sparks novel. If two people want to be with each other, shouldn’t the concept of splitting up be eliminated all together? It should never even be an option. Breaking up shouldn’t be done every other week. Relationships, like many other things, require maintenance and an effort.

5. Because falling in love isn’t hard at all. It’s the getting back up after your heart has been smashed into a million tiny pieces that’s so brutal.

In reality, falling in love with someone can happen naturally and effortlessly. It typically doesn’t go down like Family Matters, with Steve Urkel aggressively pursuing Laura for years before finally forcing an unlikely love to exist. In real life it often happens before we even have a chance to realize we’re vulnerable. If you’re a guarded person, surely you’re well aware when there’s been a security breach in the heavily protected area known as your feelings. Alarms are ringing and you’re proceeding with all of the caution, because all you can remember is how helpless you felt after the previous heartbreak. Once you know what a broken heart feels like, it’s never easy to give another person the power to put you through that same, excruciating experience.  TC Mark

Buy "I Love Life, I Just Wish I Were Better At It: Best Of Christopher Hudpseth on Amazon, the iBookstore, and Vook (Outside the U.S.)
Buy “I Love Life, I Just Wish I Were Better At It: Best Of Christopher Hudpseth on Amazon, the iBookstore, and Vook (Outside the U.S.)

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