1. Having enough money to do online shopping with the item prices listed from “Highest to Lowest.” Also, it’d be cool to splurge on the really expensive, next day shipping just to see what it feels like to slap patience in the face for $30 extra.
2. Being organized enough to stop losing track of things like socks, keys, the back piece on remotes that covers the battery compartment, etc.
3. A point of being in decent physical condition. Doesn’t have to be six-pack abs or anything — many of us would settle for being in good enough shape to go up a flight of stairs without running out of breath.
4. A point where the decisions you make are entirely based on what feels right/good to you, and not what looks cool or pleases others.
5. Knowing mathematics well enough to not require counting on fingers to solve basic equations. Although if it hasn’t happened by now, things are looking grim.
6. A point where we have half decent medical insurance that allows us to see an actual doctor instead of attempting self-diagnosis with the help of WebMD and House reruns.
7. A point where we can be fairly confident that when we call or text the people in our lives, they don’t cringe and mutter a four-letter word after seeing your name pop up on the screen.
8. A time where grownup stuff like 401Ks and IRAs are concepts that we don’t just nod our heads and say “mmhmm” to when brought up in conversation – but actually grasp and comprehend enough to intelligently discuss.
9. A day where flying cars exist. Not just one or two of ‘em that a Yahoo! Article said were built in a Chinese lab, but like, full-blown, with flying car DMVs and dealerships everywhere. C’mon, everybody want to experience that Jetsons era of technology.
10. A point where 90% of the furniture you own is made of wood or materials other than plastic.
11. A point where you’re taking part in a robust, heavy-duty relationship/marriage that is incapable of being broken. One where the love and misery are embraced, because you wouldn’t want to be miserable with anybody else, and vice versa.
12. Basically never having to check a bank account balance at all, unless it’s to revel in the glory of your Scrooge McDuck-esque pile of wealth.
13. A point where NONE OF THE MEMBERS of your age group — or species, are wearing Tap Out shirts and thinking that doing so makes them certified mixed martial arts experts, with short fuses and a points to prove.
14. A point where we have enough time to watch 12 hours of YouTube and Netflix if we wanted to, but we don’t because we’re too busy traveling and doing the incredible things we’ve always dreamed of doing.
15. A point where we can walk into a coffee or barbershop and the barista or stylist knows in advance what we want to drink or look like.
16. A point where all of your Facebook friends are too old/know better than to invite you to play Bubble Safari, Farmville and all that other crap.
17. A point where you’re able to wear an outfit for 8 hours or so without it having a palette of samples from every meal you’ve eaten, and looking as if you possibly, probably slept in it.
18. A point where you’re able to say things like, “Hey, Joe – nice to see you again! Rashy will be joining us here in a few for the wine and cheese party.” (When talking to your good friend Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in reference to your lover, Rashida Jones, and the epic wine and cheese extravaganza about to take place in your home.)