1. Lizzie McGuire
It’s not just Lizzie’s hijinks and learning experiences that I miss, but there’s a huge void in my heart that only Gordo and Miranda can fill. It was a Disney classic, so we remember these people in a pleasant, innocent light — which is why I was shocked to discover that the actress playing Miranda was arrested for crystal meth possession. As for the actor who played Gordo, he’s probably been stumbled upon by those Google’ing Adam Lambert. See, his name is Adam Lamberg, and the T and G are bunk bed buddies on every keyboard, which sets the table for a common, nostalgia-inducing mistake to be made. Anyway, who doesn’t miss Lizzie and her little animated version that would popup throughout the episodes?
2. Even Stevens
Most of us weren’t casting directors or Hollywood executives, but could anyone have predicted Shia’s future A-List status? I mean, he was great on Even Stevens but I’m not sure his rise to fame was seen anywhere in the forecast. Regardless, Even Stevens was one of, if not the best shows early 2000s Disney had to offer. Every character contributed and as a unit, they meshed well. I’m curious what happened to Ren, played by Christy Carlson Romano. She had all the makings of a star, but has been missing for going on a decade. Come back, Ren, please?
3. Freaks And Geeks
HOW DOES SUCH A GREAT SHOW ONLY LAST FOR 18 EPISODES?! I can’t wrap my mind around it, but this was a classic example of a fantastic show that was worthy of higher ratings. The show was hilarious, unique and possessed a stacked cast that included Linda Cardellini, James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Martin Starr and Busy Philipps. In a world where a television show about the Geico Cavemen can air 5 episodes, Freaks And Geeks is certainly worthy of multiple seasons.
4. WWF Before It Was WWE
It kind of seemed like things went downhill once the F became an E. WWF was responsible for so many classic moments and there came a point where kids were quoting The Rock, wearing Stone Cold’s “AUSTIN 3:16” shirts and doing the DX “suck it” crotch chop on the reg. It’s unclear exactly what happened to my personal loving relationship with professional wrestling, but I’m convinced that the only reason I found it so enjoyable was youth, and now it’s just far too preposterous, unfathomable and G-rated for grown me to thoroughly enjoy it.
5. Sprite Remix
Does anybody have a Sprite Remix guy that can hook it up? Don’t hold out on me, I’m willing to drop a hefty chunk of change for one of the most underappreciated fizzy beverages ever created. I don’t even really drink soda anymore, but if this tastes as good as memory tells me, I’d accept some unhealthy calories for a Sprite Remix.
6. Jennifer Lopez’s In That One Dress
Yeah, ^ that one. It even has its own Wikipedia page. This version of JLo forcefully pushed many off of a prepubescent cliff, plunging rapidly toward puberty.
7. Christina Aguilera’s Dirty Video
When those many finally landed into puberty, this video caught ‘em.
Every morning before school in 7th-10th grade, this was my go-to show. The original three — Piper, Phoebe and Prue were who my loyalties lied with. For the longest time I couldn’t get over Shannen Doherty’s character being axed, refusing to acknowledge the existence of her replacement, Paige (played by Rose McGowan), shunning her storylines as if they weren’t happening. Eventually I discovered that Doherty was being an actual witch on set, causing drama and jeopardizing the real life “Power Of Three” which of course I wasn’t down with. From the cheesy effects, to the oft creepy villains, Charmed will remain a deeply missed pastime of my early morning routine.
9. Amanda Bynes
Amanda Bynes has a career that I used to closely follow; from All That, to The Amanda Show, to What I Like About You. A childhood crush on her was developed, and I’m not certain all of the feelings from that infatuation have succumbed. Hearing that she retired, or is taking an extended break from acting is a bummer, because she is a charismatic, comedic talent. If you’re a Bynes enthusiast like myself, the only method of nourishing your Amanda needs are through her Twitter account.
10. Road Rules
Specifically Campus Crawl – hands down my favorite season of MTV reality TV ever. It’s actually available in several parts on YouTube, and I’m happy to set you off on a path of procrastination and binge Road Rules’ing.
11. Stable Lindsay Lohan
It’s just growing difficult to watch The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and Mean Girls, then go online and be greeted by some new headline or photo of current, less… healthy, Lohan.
12. So Weird
After the days of Are You Afraid Of The Dark and Goosebumps providing scares ended, So Weird was a suitable replacement. There were three solid seasons that are fully responsible for my lack of interest in Ouija boards and fear of paranormal activity.
13. The Famous Jett Jackson
Can Disney puh-leeze throw this show in its syndication rotation? Jett lasted the typical Disney limit of three seasons, but also warranted its own movie. It was like an action series that also featured a kid, living his celebrity life and experiencing relatable kid things.
Before the MySpace and Facebook days, AIM was a primary means of the spying, flirting, chatting festivities. It was an opportunity to get creative through screen names, though that was typically wasted on a hobby or self-description, followed by several uninspired numbers. BabyGurl2002441. HomerunSlugger9495200. Regardless, it was regularly used to stalk and talk to crushes, keep contact with friends and write clever away messages that were essentially Twitter-practice.