1. The confidence felt immediately after receiving a compliment. Remember on Super Mario when you got an invincibility star? The upbeat jingle plays and you’re untouchable for like, 15 seconds. That’s what compliments are like. A stranger’s kind words are an invincibility star — imagine having that mode at your disposal.
2. That foaming at the mouth, passionate, mutual desire to spend time that was felt when you first met your boyfriend/girlfriend. When things begin it’s all happiness and wanting to see each other. So on days when a relationship has a humdrum, routine feel, you relight the fire and trigger that honeymoon stage atmosphere.
3. New Year’s Resolution motivation. It’s like enthusiasm on steroids. Just think how many of us would stick to diets, quit smoking and spend more time with our families! I’d be the most accomplished person in the world if every day were January 1st.
4. The reckless, careless, responsibility-less, senior year of high school vibe. Childhood was fun but we couldn’t do the grownup things or be out and about like 17-18 allowed. In a way senior year is the last hoorah of immaturity. Don’t get me wrong, there’s lots of screwing off in college and your twenties, but the last year of high school resembles a series’ final season that pulls out all the stops. We go into screw-it-mode and act a fool with minimal repercussions.
5. Relief and release of taking a pee that was held for way too long. I’m not sure when exactly we’d use this, but I’m confident that it’ll unexpectedly come in handy one day – like a baster or a monkey wrench.
6. 4:59 P.M. (or the minute before your shift ends) on a Friday. 4:59 P.M. is the Edge of Glory that Lady Gaga was singing about. 4:59 P.M. is that the helicopter when you’re on a deserted island. 4:59 P.M. is excitement. 4:59 P.M. is anticipation. 4:59 P.M. is thisclose to happiness. 4:59 P.M. is winning. 4:59 P.M. looks like rainbows, smells like roses and tastes like bacon.
7. Holiday inspired joy. The generally good vibes that November and December radiate are capable of making people’s moods and mindsets happy ones. Maybe it’s the family, the food, the lights, the music – whatever aspect it is you enjoy, it’d be sweet to have some on deck for the other 10 months of the year.
8. The accomplishment and joy felt as you place the last piece in a puzzle or finish a long essay. We could use this on days where we’re down on ourselves for allowing YouTube, reality TV and Netflix to hijack our day and viciously murder productivity.
9. Toilet hugging, vomit-filled, drunk nights. That sounds weird, but hear me out. Next time someone offers tequila shots, you could release a teeny, tiny bit of recollection from that evening and you’ll say “no” without the possibility of succumbing to peer pressure.
10. The times when that person you now can’t handle being around was a stranger, acquaintance or friend – before you fell in love with them and a platonic friendship was fathomable, instead of ‘exclusively dating’ or bust.
11. Orgasms. I mean, we can bottle lotion and oils — so in a way this exists.
12. Hunger when we haven’t eaten all day, and thirst when we’re parched. Specifically for those moments of ungratefulness when we get worked up about trivial nonsense. Recalling what mild starvation and dehydration feel like would surely remind us how much worse it could be.
13. Waking up from a good night’s rest or a really solid power nap. This would come in handy pretty much every morning we have to rise and shine for some sort of mandatory obligation.
14. Winning. An argument, bingo, beer pong, video games, a fistfight – whatever. Winning is the best. I’m fairly certain we’d get addicted to “winning” if it came in a savable form. Shooting winning into our veins, rubbing winning on our gums, rolling crushed winning in a blunt. Then we’d watch C-list celebs rehab from winning with Dr. Drew and listen to raps about smoking winning from Dr. Dre.
15. Right now. I’m pretty sure that you’re alive if you’re reading this and at some point, you’re not going to be so lucky. One day this whole breathing, touching, eating, drinking, laughing, loving thing will stop. Maybe abruptly, perhaps slowly, so you have time to see it coming. Either way, when it’s over it’d be nice to have some of ‘right now’ handy.