Deodorant For Personalities That Stink
By Thoughtis
Contrary to popular belief, armpits and breath aren’t the primary offenders of reeking to the point that others don’t want to be around you. Just like rare instances where we’ve forgotten to put on deodorant, there are days where we’re in a funky state of mind. It may be nothing in particular or a very specific cause, but we’ve decided that for that day, we’re going to be unpleasant to be around. So temporarily, we stink. But eventually our mood wears off and we go back to being the mild-mannered or happy people we naturally are. At least that’s how it works for most of us. There’s a minority of folks out there who generate enough negativity to bring down the happiness of an entire room. They are the stinky personalities that are in need of some personality deodorizing.
First of all, it’s important that a stinky personality understand how awful they can be. Imagine a reverse Santa Clause who trots the globe spreading pessimism with generally hateful opinions, unnecessary insults and an unwarranted anger. That’s not something people want, or can even handle having in their lives. Who wants to hang out or make plans with a habitually miserable person? Scheduled negativity on our calendars? No thanks!
If you know that you’re the person being described, it should be slightly easier for you to make changes and improve your spirits. However, if you can’t even recognize that you stink and need deodorant, things get tricky. There’s a test I use to identify “haters,” which are the primary form of foul-smelling personality. Consider the following five things:
1. The Beatles.
2. Teacup piglets.
3. Happy children.
4. Sunny days.
5. Bacon.
If you hate all of those things and feel the need to vocalize your displeasures, you’re probably the hateful type of energy previously described. But there are ways to avoid being that person. Here’s the personality deodorant that when applied, covers the pungent, stench of the funkiest personalities:
Think before opening your mouth and spewing unhappy word vomit. Is what you’re about to say going to be a remotely positive statement? Will it at least be constructive criticism? The goal here is to eliminate the constant glass-half-empty, loathing of life tendencies you’ve gotten in the habit of. Try making a conscious effort to give compliments. No, don’t lie, but when you see something you genuinely like, don’t be afraid to compile words and create a sentence with some generosity behind it. Trust me — being pleasant to others and enjoying things from time to time isn’t as bad as it seems.
Find something you can appreciate in all of the places you go. Oh, you hate this bar? Well see if they have a generous happy hour so that you can get an appetizer, have a drink and refrain from complaining. If something went wrong in your day, don’t dwell. It’s nice to vent, so tell me the stories of how aggravating work was, how much you hate people and then give it a rest. Let’s move on to happier, less stressful topics of discussion. Like teacup piglets.
That all being said, if you hate seeing others happy, successful or any bit less miserable than you – you need help that goes beyond deodorant. Your personality is in need of soap, water, and exfoliation – a full, detailed cleaning. A person shouldn’t be preoccupied with seeing others discontent, failing or unhappy. Folks who find pleasure in others’ disappointments are appalling and slightly creepy. Of course most of us avoid that type of person anyway, so their odor is kept in the distance, far away from our nostrils.
It takes a conscious, constant effort to remove the stink from a personality. It’s so easy to hate stuff in our current world, so being negative can develop into a habit and become routine. Practice being positive. Expose yourself to things you hate. Listen to that Taylor Swift song that makes you cringe and find something nice to say about it – or at least make it through the entire track without a hateful comment.
Ultimately a person will have to decide whether or not they’d truly like to improve the way they’re perceived. It can’t possibly feel good to be disliked, so why not jump aboard the positivity train and find out what it feels like to not have others hate your presence?! For the occasional offender, you may just be having a helluva day and accept that you’re in a brief funk — that’s normal. However, anyone finding themselves stinking on the regular need to hastily acquire some of the metaphorical deodorant.