15 ‘Yeah, Me Neither’ Statements

What is a ‘Yeah, me neither’ statement? It’s a statement describing a thought, feeling or action that one is only revealing in the hopes that others can relate. If the general public can’t empathize, then the person relinquishes that declaration, playing it off and smoothly stating, “Yeah, me neither.” The following are my 15 Yeah, Me Neither’s, which I may or may not think, feel or do — depending on how many of y’all can relate.

1. Every few months, do you perform a quick check to see if you’ve developed super-powers? You know, nothing crazy — maybe just try to move a pen with your mind or attempt to do the Matilda glass-tipping bit.

2. When you acknowledge and accept the fact that you don’t have special-powers, do you ever consider that the guy next to you might? And then you wonder if perhaps, he can read minds? If so, he hears your thoughts right now! So you think statements in your head like, “I know you can hear this, the jig is up!” while intensely staring at the dude, waiting for him to look you in the eye, shocked that you’re on to him.

3. Have you ever gone number two and in the middle of washing your hands, realized that you could probably use another wipe or two?

4. At 2 a.m. do you think of hysterically genius Facebook statuses or Tweets but since nobody else is awake or online to appreciate it, you hold off on posting until the next day?

5. On occasion, do you question if your entire life is a sham and you’re being recorded and watched by many, like Jim Carey in The Truman Show?

6. Does “Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead move you to tears, every time you hear it?

7. Do you ever tell a lie so superb that eventually you catch yourself sincerely believing it?

8. When feeling under the weather, do you ever Google your symptoms and then regret it immediately — as you spend the next week convinced that you have cancer, a tumor and several other terminal illnesses.

9. Do you ever catch yourself nodding your head or singing the lyrics to a song that you’re ashamed to be thoroughly enjoying (e.g. “Boyfriend,” by Justin Bieber). So instead of admitting defeat to the universe, you try to assure yourself that you only like the beat and it has nothing to do with the Biebs.

10. When texting, do you ever feel ashamed of the words your phone knows not to auto-correct?

11. When celebrity crushes of yours get divorced or breakup, do you feel genuine happiness and disregard the fact that your chances of meeting, much less dating them are slim to none.

12. At 11:11 do you ever make a wish, then say to yourself, “Yeah, right — I know that isn’t going to come true.” As if you can pull some type of reverse psychology on the universe as it proves you wrong.

13. Do you ever judge somebody purely based off of looks and label them as a trouble causing or up-to-no-good person, then they interact with you and are ridiculously polite and kind?

14. Have you ever purchased and watched the DVD, Georgia Rule, starring Lindsay Lohan multiple times?

15. Do you ever use Facebook likes on meaningful statuses as a gauge of how many friends and family members care about you?

What are some of of your “Yeah, Me Neither” statements? Share them in the comment section! TC mark

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  • Chelsea

    I shamelessly relate to number 6.

    • Caroline

      Me too!! Gets me everytime. And I may or may not listen to it on repeat…

    • Madison

      As soon as I hear the first chord, my whole body floods with emotions. Seriously, it’s like clockwork.
      I can’t imagine how I would react if I heard it live. Ooh… I think I just got chills!

  • Mollie

    Do you ever realize your hands smell, and you keep smelling them to figure out the culprit, even though the stench makes you gag nearly every time?
    Yeah, me neither…

  • B

    OHHHHHmygod, 4, 6, 12, and 15. HA.

  • Michaelwg

    Radiohead, capable of moving listeners to tears while 95% of the time choosing not too.

  • Annie

    2, 4, 7,10, 11, 12. Wow.

  • lo

    Do you ever ask your crush to hang out repeatedly and pretend to be super busy when rebuffed continuously?
    …yeah me neither

  • http://gravatar.com/gkfriend Gracie

    Have you ever stubbed your toe and immediately thought, Wow, what an intense feeling! I should do that again, only slower so I can notice the initial stabbing turn into a horrific throb?

  • Taylor

    hahaha number 14… Georgia Rule is one of my favorite movies, and everyone else either pretends to dislike it or not to know about it.. and yes, i own it. and watch it alone every several months or so..

    • http://www.facebook.com/rebecca.raymond.3 Rebecca Raymond

      I honestly do not know abouto Georgia Rule but I think I will look it up tonight…

      • cassie

        14. so true, i’m not sure if i wrote this myself

  • MaggieC

    Are you ever tempted to point out all the places that completely necessary commas are missing from an article on a website aimed at the supposedly well-educated? And do you briefly consider giving a short lesson on parallel sentence structure before realizing that that would be snarky and counterproductive? Nah, me neither.

  • Kari

    #4. all the time. everyday. seriously.

  • Flux

    Georgia Rule is some sick shit. Up until 80% of the way through, you think you’re watching a Disney movie and then HOLY HELL, shit gets real.

  • http://anhjvan.wordpress.com anhjvan

    Have you craved eating something so desperately that you Googled, Google-imaged, Wikipediaed, Flickred, Yelped, Urbanspooned, Pinterested, Foodgawked, and browsed through the Facebook albums of your friends who frequently post food pictures. Because you want to find anything visually associated with your specific food item?

  • MM

    4,9, 11, 13

  • http://www.facebook.com/abubakr.hussain AbuBakr Hussain

    Lol, once I did engage in a telepathic conversation with a cow. I told it to look at me, and it turned around and looked at me. then i kept on talking to it – telepathically of course.
    It is only in retrospect i realise how batshit crazy that was.

  • http://yanskydoodle.wordpress.com Ariane Astraea

    #5 & #11 :(

  • Jake Flanagin

    Is your go-to wish still “I wish I went to Hogwarts?”

    • Madison

      YES

  • Sarah

    1, 4, 11, 13, 15

  • Ryan

    Oh man. 1, 2, 4, 8, 10, 12. Spot on.

  • http://twitter.com/nebulalawrence Nebula Lawrence

    I just burst out laughing at 12. fucking hilarious

  • Jillian

    Have you ever looked at old people and wonder if they used to be hot when they were young?

    • kieux

      YES.

  • Ana

    #9 & #12 made me laugh!! Just cuz who does those things!! Hahahahaha

  • http://dezigncult.com Zak

    I always think about if other people can read minds-and I do the same thing! I say things like, “Yep, I know you’re listening. Don’t hide it. Look at me, right now.” in my head.

  • Bri

    Do you ever dance and sing around your house almost, if not completely, when you think you are alone only to realize that you are either not alone, or a window has been open the whole time? Yeah, me neither.

    • Bri

      *completely naked

  • lauren

    I freaking love Georgia Rule, but everybody I’ve recommended it to has just rolled their eyes at me. They don’t know what they’re missing out on.

  • Sam

    Do you ever read a Thought Catalog article and start hysterical laughing and shouting “yes!!” at statements you feel you can completely relate to?

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