To My Boyfriend, Who Wants To Force Me To Get Married At 23


Dear boyfriend-forcing-me-to-get-married-at-23,

You are disgusting. You are disgusting for disrespecting my opinion on my own marriage. You are disgusting for threatening to break up with me should I choose to marry in my mid-20’s or later. You are disgusting for forcing me to compromise with you because you think “28 is too late for you to be married.” When I told you that I had dreams to pursue after college instead of settling down, I can’t believe you think your casual opinion overrides my goals in life, then thinking that everything is okay when you conceal your wrongdoings with a misused “I love you”. You may be four years older than me, but that does not give you the right to tell me to compromise the age that I want to marry.

I’m writing this to tell you that marriage is something I would never want to compromise. When I’m 23, I will just have received my bachelors of science. I may be working, I may be attending law school, or I may traveling the world with my start-up. By 23, I will be approaching the peak of my existence. All the years I’ve spent in school have built up to that time of my life, and I will definitely not waste it by settling down with a guy like you. I know that my goals and ambitions will only begin to blossom when I’m 23, and I am sure as hell that I won’t let someone like you rise to my number of priority.

Luckily, we live in the 21st century where marriage is a personal choice and not a dictate of our families. After telling you that I won’t be ready to settle down by 23, you continued to force and threaten me as the means of achieving your own selfish needs. You expect me to compromise, but you use all your power to reject the possibility of yourself getting married at 30. If three years of delaying our marriage is all it takes to break our relationship, then you were not worth it to begin with. Perhaps two years earlier, I would’ve compromised everything to be with you. But I’ve grown up, and I am confident when I say that you are disrespecting me in every way possible.

You are disrespecting my goals, my parents, and most importantly, myself. And although I’m only 18 right now, I know I will never be okay with this. I am not the submissive girlfriend you want, and you’re not the selfish sociopath I will ever need.


Your ex-girlfriend. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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