6 Reasons Why Adding Coach To ‘New Girl’ Was The Best Decision Ever

Fox’s New Girl hit a bit of a lull after three seasons of being the new and exciting show on primetime. After Nick and Jess drama was running dry…along came Coach. The jokes and vibe of the show got a whole lot fresher thanks to that beautiful and hilarious man, Damon Wayans Jr. It’s been decided that Coach will remain on the show for the rest of the season. Thank you, Fox, for finally doing something right.

1. He’s hot. No further explanation is needed.

2. He pretends to be macho but is actually a huge goof. Coach gets so nervous on his date with Cece that he has to run outside and call his Mom. And that time he cried alone in the bathtub after his old girlfriend broke up with him and called her saying, “Malea I’m in pain and I want you to know!” His character does a fairly nice job of posessing both feminine and masculine qualities, which is becoming more common, but is still rare for males on television.

3. The deep voice he uses when he tries to intimidate people / get a point across is comedy gold. Some of his best deep voice lines:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yNwRV10ffM%5D- “I’m gonna’ bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna’ be like ‘Eewwww, why did you say moist. I hate that word?’ And I’m gonna’ be like ‘Just taste the cake,’ and they’re gonna be like, ‘Damn, it’s moist.’”

– “I just wanna’ put on some Drake and get up on you, girl.”

– “Malea broke up with me and I haven’t seen her since. I still read her emails tho…erryday. Erryday. Erry-dayum-day.”

4. Coach brings more diversity to the show. Television and film are in desperate need of actors who are basically any race other than white…so New Girl’s somewhat mixed cast is a step in the right direction.

5. He is actually funny. Jess is so bad at improv humor and horrifically boring and, unfortunately, even Schmidt’s and Nick’s shticks are getting old. Winston and Coach are by far the most exciting characters on the show because the intricacies of their lives have yet to be explored. (Extra points for Winston’s fucking hilariously awesome cat, Ferguson). But Wayans is a seasoned comedian whose character brings to the show excellent timing, side-splitting facial expressions, and unique personal problems (like his inability to talk to women).

6. Comfort is Coach’s sole criteria for choosing an outfit. He only ever wears track suits (or some variation of workout clothes). He is Marvin Gaye 2.0.

If you’ve given up on watching New Girl…don’t. Tune back in and I promise you’ll fall in love with Coach. TC Mark

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