Taylor Swift is often criticized for her songs about love, but I’m here to tell you she shouldn’t be. Sure, I’ll admit it: I didn’t have a fantastic music taste when I was a kid. In high school, Taylor Swift was my go to for breakups. Well, guess what? She still is. I listen to every genre of music you can think of and I STILL love Taylor. Why? Because she taught me what to expect when someone breaks your heart. She taught me how it feels to be disappointed and she taught me how to deal with change. People will come and go in your life, that’s a fact. It is, however, a hard fact to accept. Luckily, Taylor has some advice for coping with relationships:
1. “You can see that I’ve been crying. Baby, you know all the right things to say. But do you honestly expect me to believe we could ever be the same?” – Should’ve Said No
If someone breaks your trust, there is no going back. Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship. Without communication, the foundation is flawed. When someone cheats on you or otherwise deceives you: do not take them back. That betrayal will always be there lurking in the shadows. Nothing will be the same.
2. “All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around. I’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down.” – You’re Not Sorry
Similarly, once they let you down, they will keep letting you down. People never really change. And unfortunately, second chances often do not work. Why put yourself through it again? If they do something awful, it’s simple: leave. Do not wait around for it to happen again because it will.
3. “I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale, I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well.” – White Horse
Young love is extremely passionate; I’ve been there. But that person you loved with all your heart? They’re one person in a very big world. If they didn’t treat you with the upmost respect and love then you deserve better. You will find better. Never settle for less than you deserve.
4. “You can plan for a change in weather and time. But I never planned on you changing your mind.” – Last Kiss
The hard truth is sometimes people are fickle. Someone may say they love you one day and disappear the next. You might not get an explanation. And it will eat away at you, but life goes on. You have to accept that planning another person’s actions is simply not possible. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Chances are, it’s not your fault.
5. “Now I’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking, And I’m dying to know is it killing you like it’s killing me.” – The Story of Us
Often, when couples are together they promise to always be friends even if they break up. This is, unfortunately, a complete lie. Breakups hurt and people need space. Sometimes, you’ll never get that person back. Even if you do, being as close as you once were is unlikely. Maybe, like me, you could be in a room with someone you used to love and the two of you are acting like strangers. Going from being someone’s everything to someone’s nothing is difficult. Take solace in the fact that it happens to most couples.
6. “I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don’t, I almost do.” – I Almost Do
When we feel alone or scared our natural reaction is to reach out. Rather than reaching out for friends or family, we get a ridiculous urge to text or call an ex. At one point, the two of you were extremely close and it’s natural to seek that out when you’re at your worst. Don’t. Fight the urge to reconnect. Remember the reasons you left them. And then eat some ice cream while you cry about how much you miss them; that’s how it should be done.
7. “I’ve been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. But on a Wednesday, in a café, I watched it begin again.” – Begin Again
The second you give up, the second you say, “I swear off dating, I’m done,” you’ll find love. Life hands you things when you least expect them. After terrible luck in love, you’ll lose all faith and then… it’ll be restored. Love will find you again. A door closes and a window opens. Once a relationship ends, a new one can begin. Keep this in mind when you’re on your second pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
8. “It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you, wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine. I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right.” – Back to December
This is perhaps my favorite Taylor Swift song because the entire thing is an apology. It’s hard to admit you’re wrong, isn’t it? It’s easier to blame everyone else, but sometimes you just can’t do that. We all make mistakes and admitting that is okay. Maybe you were young and wanted to see other people. Maybe you were horrible to this person when they were nothing but kind to you. You have your heart broken and you break hearts. These things happen. When they do, you’ll regret it. So, apologize. They deserve it. Don’t you wish the people that broke you would apologize?
9. “So it’s gonna be forever or it’s gonna go down in flames. You can tell me when it’s over if the high was worth the pain.” – Blank Space
Giving your heart to someone is a gamble. Always. There are two outcomes here: you’re going to have a long relationship or you’ll break up. Things can get messy and you should think about that going in. Once you start dating someone the game is on. Nothing will be the way it was before you started dating them. They’ll give you life experience for better or worse. Sometimes it will be worth it and sometimes it won’t be. You just never know.
10. “I go on too many dates but I can’t make them stay. At least that’s what people say. But I keep cruising, can’t stop, won’t stop moving. It’s like I got this music in my mind, saying it’s gonna be alright.” – Shake it Off
When you’re young, you play the field. Dating different people shouldn’t be a bad thing. How else will you know who’s right for you and who isn’t? If people are judging you for your choices you have to ignore them and do what feels right for you. No one knows you better than you do. We can’t let people’s opinions get to us. We can’t let ended relationships get to us. Work toward a Teflon mind: shake things off. Maybe it won’t be perfect, maybe we’ll have a few scars, and maybe we’ll lose a few people along the way. But we’ll always be alright.