I pray and talk to God about you. It may seem obsessive or creepy, but I do. I ask Him to keep you safe and to keep you close to His heart because I want God to be close to your heart, too.
I want Him to know that I will never take you for granted, that I will love you so much more than I’ve ever loved before, with all my heart and with all that I am. I also tell Him things about you. What you look like. What you do. How you smell. How you laugh. About your smile. Your voice. The words that you say. All the things that you wonder about out loud. Things that you’re passionate about. Things and people that you love so dearly and how all of these things make you more adorable and it’ll be too difficult to stop myself from loving you so much more.
I also ask God to mold you into who He wants you to be. To be the person that makes people see God in you. To be the person that spreads God’s love like wildfire. To be the person that’s full of confidence but still humble enough to acknowledge your weaknesses. That despite all the insecurities and flaws that poison your mind late at night as you stare blankly in the darkness of your room, you still choose to believe that you are enough and that you are good.
Because I know that you are.
I smile to myself as I pray to God that may you have the most loving and gentle heart. That your strength may not be visible on the outside but it is there, running through your veins and gives you this aura of power with grace. I also pray that may you have the patience five times than a normal man has, because I need you to be with me.
Sometimes, my mind is a mess and I need someone to just be there for me and wait patiently until I snap out of it or to make sense out of it. I need that someone to be you.
Maybe it’s too much to ask all these things but at least I asked. At least I tried.
Sometimes, I tell Him about how impatient I’m becoming. Sometimes, I wonder why it’s taking so long. But as much as I want it to be Right Now, I can’t argue against His plans. He knows so much more than I do. And I want to trust Him with His plans. With His timing. That’s why I always pray for more patience. And I just keep praying that wherever you are right now, you’re doing well and even if I can’t tell you this in person, yet, I want you to know that I am excited to meet you.
I can’t wait to find you or for you to finally find me.
But then again, maybe you already have.