It’s a weird feeling when you realize that you have finally gotten over someone and have moved on. It’s really surreal. You couldn’t believe that it’s actually happening and that you doubt yourself a second because maybe this is just a phase and after a few days you’ll realize that you’re still in love with him.
But no. You’re not. Not anymore.
This time, it’s for real.
He doesn’t give you butterflies in your stomach anymore. He doesn’t make you feel like your chest is about to explode anytime because of so much joy and love you have for him. You don’t smile through your eyes just because you’re looking at him.
You don’t wait for his messages anymore.
You don’t wonder about where he may be or who is he with anymore. You don’t have these contradicting thoughts in your head whether you should send him a message first or not because you don’t want to be so desperate and obvious that you’re still in love with him.
You don’t intentionally go to that place where you used to hang out, anymore. You’d rather go home directly after work and watch television or call your friends and have dinner with them, instead. You don’t have this heavy feeling in your chest that you have to carry around like it’s not dragging you down.
You don’t have to pretend to be happy anymore because being happy comes naturally now. You have lesser sleepless nights because he’s not on your mind that much anymore.
He makes a cameo on your mind from time to time but it doesn’t bring back all the pain that you have felt before. It doesn’t make you want to cry or want to listen to sad songs all day long. He’s just simply up there in your mind.
And you don’t think that the sad songs that you hear are written for you, anymore.
When you see him, you still feel something. That’s normal. But when you see him, you don’t want him back anymore. You don’t wish in your head that he would talk to you first or that he wouldn’t leave too early. You don’t try to flirt with him to make him realize what he’s missing. You don’t try to make him jealous by talking to your other guy friends a little bit flirtatiously.
You know he’s there but you don’t mind so much anymore. You focus on yourself now and what you’re doing with your life. You have finally established a routine that doesn’t involve him. You can finally smile unpretentiously and your chest feels lighter than ever.
You finally have moved on.
You’ve tried and have done enough to fight for him. But victory is less likely when you’re the only one who fights.
You may never have thought that this day would come. But it is here now. And it was worth the wait.