I don’t count myself as a feminist, I never have, because I believe the new feminist movement to actually be more harmful than good. Instead of being about equality, which I entirely stand for, feminism has largely become describing all the things MEN can do to overcome inequality, attacking everything that MEN do when it is in fact largely also our responsibility to overcome this. We are not entirely blameless. We are not infallible. And in fact I grew up hating women because women, even teachers, (not counting my family unit, which was just my mother and sister) treated me poorly, and that is partially because it has always been said that I have a male brain and often act like a boy.
I do, however, witness how my life experiences are not equal; I work twice as hard than most men I know, and they progress in their careers at double the rate I will. If a man “screws me over” (for want of a better term) in business, it has always been deemed as my fault, and I am branded a bitch, whereas I’ve seen men be downright rude to somebody who does a good job for them, and be described as “assertive” and “driven”. If I’m seen to swear “too much”, I am told that I have a potty mouth, whereas men are deemed funny. And we all know the sex argument…
The world is not equal, and gender is not the only issue, but there are women who perpetuate this particular issue with constant popularised misandry. And that is where this article has probably come from. The recent “social justice” movement has created often pure hatred for “oppressors”, and a sort of blame-all society where saying anything is seen as being “ableist” or “apologist”, and then misogynistic pigs see that as an opportunity to rile up the men who actually do feel hurt.
As I’ve said time and time again, preaching hatred towards those who have mistreated you will only perpetuate the hatred further; instead we must teach each other to love.
But let’s get something clear here. This article (list) on “female privilege” I read was malicious, often without truth, and deserves a legitimate and calm rebuttal, to explain that his obnoxious points are extremely misguided.
1. “Female privilege is being able to walk down the street at night without people crossing the street because they’re automatically afraid of you.” Female privilege is having to ask my boyfriend to walk me home, or instead to feel weak and scared, pretending to listen to music while wondering if I have enough keys to blind an attacker.
2. “Female privilege is being able to approach someone and ask them out without being labeled ‘creepy.’” Female privilege is being deemed a “crazy bitch” or “coming on too strong” or being “possessive” for making the first move. Or, the old classic, being called a “slut”.
3. “Female privilege is being able to get drunk and have sex without being considered a rapist. Female privilege is being able to engage in the same action as another person but be considered the innocent party by default.” Female privilege is fearing that if you get too drunk a man will take advantage of you, and keeping close to your friends all night and being labelled as a “skank” or a “loud annoying group of girls” because you feel safer that way (note: I’m guilty of making these judgements against women as well – like I said, we’re not infallible). Alternatively, again, if we have sex while drunk we’re deemed “sluts”, “whores” or “reckless”.
4. “Female privilege is being able to turn on the TV and see yourself represented in a positive way. Female privilege is shows like King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond where women are portrayed as attractive, competent people while men are shown as ugly, lazy slobs.” Female privilege is shows like The Big Bang Theory (the most popular show in the US right now), where we’re deemed the inferior gender, where we can only be weak, stupid, or bitter. In TBBT for instance, even the extremely intelligent women are seen to need men or sex to validate themselves. And if we ARE deemed as positive role models, we’re also over-sexualised to validate our dominance.
5. “Female privilege is the idea that women and children should be the first rescued from any sort of emergency situation. Female privilege is saving yourself before you save others and not being viewed as a monster.” Female privilege is being deemed to helpless to save people, it’s having to prove that you’re worthy of doing jobs in the army or in the fire brigade, because it’s seen as a “manly” thing to protect and rescue. With men it’s just expected that they should be able to do this. Maybe that is wrong, I know a lot of men who wouldn’t be able to do jobs like this, but they’d have an easier time convincing people than I would.
6. “Female privilege is being able to decide not to have a child.” Female privilege is being told you’re not complete if you haven’t had children. Female privilege is being told you’re selfish and a bad person if you don’t want children. Female privilege is being made to feel like less of a person if you can’t have children. Female privilege is people being shocked you don’t want children because “you should be hard-wired with a maternal instinct”.
7. “Female privilege is not having to support a child financially for 18 years when you didn’t want to have it in the first place.” Female privilege is being told that you can only have an abortion if the pregnancy will only affect your physical or mental health. Female privilege is taking the responsibility for a mistake that TWO PEOPLE made. Female privilege is being called a slut for being a single mother. Female privilege is being the only one who has to suffer the mental and physical health consequences of most types of birth control. Female privilege is being told that you tried to “trap” a man with a child. Female privilege is having to spend 9 months sober, nauseous, in pain, etc. and then up to three days of excruciating vagina stretching and then a further 6 months of painful breast-feeding and people judging you for how fast you lose your baby-weight.
8.“Female privilege is never being told to “take it like a man” or “man up.”” Female privilege is being underestimated consistently for the same reasons, because you’re expected to be physically and psychologically weaker. Female privilege is being told to “just take a compliment” when you’re sexually harassed, and I think that pretty much counts as the same.
9. “Female privilege is knowing that people would take it as a gravely serious issue if someone raped you. Female privilege is being able to laugh at a “prison rape” joke.” Female privilege is this article that proves female rape is statistically more common. Female privilege is having to listen to men make that prison rape joke.
10. “Female privilege is being able to divorce your spouse when your marriage is no longer working because you know you will most likely be granted custody of your children.” Female privilege is being called a bad mother for making your children witness and go through a divorce. Female privilege is being expected to be the main bread-winner for your family if you ARE granted full custody, and yet having less job prospects due to being a full-time parent.
11. “Female privilege is being able to call the police in a domestic dispute knowing they will take your side. Female privilege is not having your gender work against where police are involved.” Female privilege is being statiscally more likely to be abused in a domestic dispute (“31% women and 18% men have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16 years” – source: women’s aid). Whether right or wrong, I can say that, from experience, the police will only take in to account whatever is said by those INVOLVED in the domestic abuse.
12. “Female privilege is being able to be caring or empathetic without people being surprised.” Female privilege is being thought of as overly-emotional for caring about others.
13. “Female privilege is not having to take your career seriously because you can depend on marrying someone who makes more money than you do. Female privilege is being able to be a “stay at home mom” and not seem like a loser.” Female privilege is working twice as hard as a man and getting half as far. Female privilege being seen as a golddigger for falling in love for somebody older or wealthier than you. Female privilege is being expected to stay at home when you have kids rather than go and be the breadwinner.
14. “Female privilege is being able to cry your way out of a speeding ticket.” Female privilege is being assumed to be sneaky or manipulative.
15. “Female privilege is being favored by teachers in elementary, middle and high school. Female privilege is graduating high school more often, being accepted to more colleges, and generally being encouraged and supported along the way.” Female privilege is receiving less support because you’re actually expected to ‘just do better’. Female privilege is getting in more trouble for doing less because ‘boys will be boys’. Female privilege is that no matter how much education we have, we’ll still end up getting paid less than you.
16. “Female privilege being able to have an opinion without someone tell you you’re just “a butthurt fedora-wearing neckbeard who can’t get any.”” Female privilege is being called a ‘feminazi’ for arguing that male privilege exists. Female privilege is being reminded that your opinion doesn’t matter on a regular basis. Female privilege is being told your opinon comes just from being bitter or jealous.
17. “Female privilege is being able to talk about sexism without appearing self-serving.” Female privilege is being told constantly that you think every man is sexist, and having your fears about sexism belittled because ‘not all men’.
18. “Female privilege is arrogantly believing that sexism only applies to women.” Female privilege is being reminded constantly that sexism is possible the other way, as if that means that the historically more dangerous misogyny means nothing in comparison.