Hey, you. Where are you? Where were you?
Do you still have the same favorite perfume? Same favorite shirt? Same favorite movie? Or you’re just a changed person altogether already? Have you left the you that I know with me to remember, and began a whole new life without me, but with brand new memories? Am I all just in your past now, while you’re still in me up to now, still planning future memories with you in it?
Everything about you is still a broken memory. Your face is still a painful image to imagine. Your voice is still an echoing sound in my head. Your skin against mine is still a familiar feeling for me.
Everything about you is broken, yet beautiful.
I remember everything with clarity. The day you walked out of that front door was the day everything we have vanished. I never asked when you didn’t turn around when I called you back, for I thought I’d always have the next day, or the day after, or more days after to ask you why. But I never thought that the minute you took towards the front door was the last straw I got. I didn’t realize I have ran out of time with you.
Nothing even seemed different with you when you left. You looked fine, mighty and dashing just like always. Is it just even after a long time, I still do not know you completely to know something isn’t right?
Or you’re really just beyond fine because you feel relieved you could finally walk out of my life?
Weeks, months, years have passed. I waited, and I am still waiting. I was hoping one day you’d find your way back to me. I was hoping we could build brand new memories together that are unforgettable. I was hoping we could form a stronger bond that is unbreakable. But so many hopes came, and remained false.
Your sudden leaving broke my heart into tiny pieces, scared me to death that something tragic happened to you, shattered all my dreams built with you in it. They hurt me, yes, but if one day, you decide to be back in my life, I’d be more hurt if I refuse to accept you back.
I long for your presence so much I couldn’t help hoping for you to be back. I love you too much. I just hope one day, I’d have to change the title of this article to “To this person who left, but have returned” because you did.
But I couldn’t help wondering, do you even know that this is you?