1. You purposely, or maybe unknowingly, search for flaws in guys even BEFORE you go on a date with them! See something on his dating profile that you don’t like? Yeah, we all know you’re going to cancel that date.
2. You immediately break up with a guy when there is conflict. You don’t understand compromise and aren’t willing to, either.
3. You wear ill-fitting or unattractive clothing when you’re in places where you could potentially meet a guy. Those sweatpants and baggy t-shirt scream, “I HAVE COMPLETELY GIVEN UP, PLEASE DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME!”
4. You turn down opportunities, don’t try new things and avoid taking risks. That sporting event your friend asked you to attend, that birthday celebration you were invited to, that holiday bar crawl, that outdoor fundraiser – guess what…those were all chances to meet someone new.
5. You invest time in “relationships” that, deep down, you know will fail. If you have a feeling that a guy is not going to commit, if you have a feeling that you are wasting your time – odds are that you probably are. Move along.
6. You don’t allow yourself to say goodbye to the past. You can’t seem to let go of a past relationship, you refuse to forget about a guy who burned you badly, you hold onto something that can never be. You need to accept that what is done is done, and begin to trust the future. Let go and try to believe that there is someone more fitting for you who will appreciate your love.
7. You choose to be a homebody. I sure as hell don’t know the secret to finding a boyfriend, but what I do know is that he won’t magically come knocking on your door. You can’t want something but do nothing about it.
8. You spent the last four minutes trying to pick out leftover vegetables that are stuck in your teeth…in public. People can see you. Including that gorgeous guy three seats away. Really now? REALLY?
9. You make poor decisions that you regret and that push you farther from finding the real thing. Sleeping with random guys and texting the wrong guys solely for attention becomes pointless and unfulfilling. Sometimes you can get stuck in this culture, making it more difficult to attain what you truly want.
10. You don’t put yourself out there enough. This sounds so typical…everyone tells you this. “You aren’t putting yourself out there enough!” It’s understandable. You are afraid of rejection, or maybe you just don’t want to make the effort. I get it, but I believe that you REALLY have NOTHING to lose. Approach a guy and he tells you that he has a girlfriend or just plain out turns you down? He wasn’t yours, to begin with. You lost nothing.
11. On the contrary, you put yourself out there TOO MUCH. On seven different dating apps? Unless you’re a robot, it’s impossible to keep track. How can you get to know a guy if you’re juggling? Eventually, you’ll get them mixed up. Which one is in Advertising? Who has five brothers? Who lives by the beach? You can’t remember, you get frustrated and just forget about each guy, thinking that the next who messages you will be more interesting.
12. You don’t shut the fuck up on a first date. You word vomit all over the guy. He can’t take everything in and he can’t get in a single word. He assumes you aren’t interested in knowing anything about him. Relax, shut the fuck up for a second and ask him questions about himself so he knows that you are interested.
13. On the contrary, you don’t open your mouth on a first date. Alright, that sounded wrong. What I mean is, TALK! Answer his questions with in-depth responses rather than one-word answers. Let him get to know you because let’s face it, you’re fucking AWESOME.
14. You’re going to the wrong places. I’m not saying that if you want to meet a religious guy, go to church and scope out the males (hey, maybe that will work – I have NO clue). What I’m saying is, think about where you can meet QUALITY people. Is it likely to meet a guy interested in a relationship at a smelly, trashy bar with $1 beers on a Thursday night? Probably not. Could it happen? Totally. But why not pursue more promising places?
15. You refuse to go out with anyone who you don’t consider your perfect match. You have too many unrealistic deal-breakers. I get it if teeth are your thing. You like a guy with nice teeth. But that guy with crooked teeth who just asked you to dinner might be perfect for you. You’ll never know though because you eliminate him from your options since he doesn’t meet all the requirements on your irrational list.
16. When you do get into a relationship, it’s extremely short-lived because you and your guy move too quickly. Is this guy calling you his girlfriend after a week of knowing each other? Are you giving him the key to your apartment when you don’t even know his middle name? Have you met each other’s families too soon? Are you talking about your ideal wedding but secretly dropping hints? Yeah, you’re crazy. Get to know each other. I guarantee you’ll regret having taken it so seriously so quickly once you discover something that is REALLY a deal-breaker.
17. You just devoured an entire plate of chicken wings and washed them down by chugging a beer. Your face and hands are a disaster, it looks like a massacre just occurred. And now you (accidentally, but still loudly) burped. That guy across the bar just witnessed all of this. All. Of. This.
18. You wear grandma underwear and bras. Imagine this: You’ve been seeing a guy for quite a while now and you’ve decided to take the step to be intimate. He goes to take off your clothes and finds grandma panties and an old, stained bra. Please, save those undergarments for when you have your period. Go to Victoria’s Secret and buy yourself something that’s more appealing. Do this for me. Promise?
19. You wear socks with open-toed sandals. I consider this a valid reason why nobody would date you. Stop it now.
20. You smell terrible. I’m fucking serious! Think more about hygiene! Nobody is going to kiss you if your breath is gross, nobody is going to want to hold your hand if it’s dry and crackly and nobody is going to run his fingers through your hair if it’s all greasy. Shower. Take a long shower before your next date, for all of us.
21. You don’t communicate enough. Yeah, texting constantly can get annoying. That’s unnecessary, though. A simple “good morning” text or quick phone call at night to catch up is sufficient. Make sure you stay on his mind and communicate to schedule more dates.
22. You aren’t flexible. He can’t meet on certain nights due to his job? Compromise and meet on a night or day that works for both of you. You don’t normally do the types of activities he’s suggesting? TRY THEM ANYWAY! You might discover that you like doing different things and that you like him.
23. You don’t like people. I could imagine that becomes a problem when trying to date, based on that fact that you need to interact with human beings.
24. You’re not confident. If you aren’t completely satisfied with yourself, it’s difficult for someone else to be. It’s easier said than done, but find ways to learn to love yourself. Believing in yourself will help in so many aspects of your life, not just dating.
25. It’s not the right time in your life to be with someone. You’re going through a lot, you aren’t settled, you have growing to do, you need to figure things out on your on right now. You need to be in the right mindset to WANT to share your life, fall in love and experience all things true with someone.
26. You have an annoying voice. That’s all.
27. All you talk about is your cat. Your entire photo library consists of pictures of your cat. You show guys these pictures.
28. You have more than three cats. I’m sorry, but you’re just asking to become a single cat lady for the rest of your life.
29. And lastly, you may still be single because you WANT to be. There is nothing wrong with this. Rock on, girlfriend.