11 Completely Bizarre Lessons You’ll Learn From Being A Bartender

1. How to stop taking shit from people.
When your job is to serve others food and alcohol, some customers are sure to talk to you condescendingly. They may act inappropriately, whether it’s just being plain rude or hitting on you. If someone treats you like you’re nothing, speak up. The customer isn’t always right, and no person is better than you. I can’t tell you how many times I’d make a sarcastic joke or show sass. Remember that you deserve respect.

2. Something embarrassing WILL happen.
Prime example is the time that I was walking up the stairs with ramekins of blue cheese dressing and dropped them through the spaces of the staircase…onto the head of a GORGEOUS guy. Or the time I realized AFTER my shift that my leggings had a huge, visible tear in the crotch. I could go on and on, but the point is that these things are not the end of the world. Laugh at yourself and move on. And if it’s a case like mine, apologize to the guy covered in blue cheese dressing.

3. Do not trust a guy who orders a vodka soda.
This is a drink that a white girl gets when she is trying to be skinny. Guys who order this cannot be trusted. That’s the bottom line. And vodka cranberry is just as bad, if not worse.

4. You will drink more than before.
You’re surrounded by alcohol. Even if you don’t drink on the job, you sure as hell are hopping to the bar next door after your shift. You’ll need a shot of Jameson and a large drink after dealing with awful customers all day and fake smiling so much that your face hurts.

5. Your coworkers may be your friends, but they care more about making their money.
Which is understandable. They’ll start a fight over a table in your section, argue that something is unfair, etc. etc. etc., because they’re busting their asses just like you are. Just remember that you need to help each other out and try to put yourself in their shoes. We all need money.

6. People WILL surprise you in a good way.
I can’t tell you how many regulars started coming in for me to serve them and how friendly they were. Getting a tip more than 20% is a nice feeling, because you know they think you are good at your job and probably like your personality as well. So be nice to all customers until they prove you wrong, because you never know who is going to be the one who treats you right.

7. You’ll eat shittier but less.
Bar food is the worst kind to put into your system. But the truth is that you most likely won’t gain weight, because although you’re eating shittier food, you’re eating the bare minimum of it. Double shifts don’t allow you to consume an entire meal, and you know your boss or a table is bound to interrupt you as you try to scarf down a couple of bites. Also, you’re on your feet all day getting more exercise than you think.

8. There are (non-important but still significant) perks.
You’ll get to know the workers at the surrounding bars, which leads to cutting the line and free alcohol. Don’t take advantage of this and always return the favor. Another perk is that you’ll learn a lot about alcohol, which tends to impress a guy when you’re out on a date.

9. Having boobs helps.
A little cleavage never hurt nobody! Especially if you work at a sports bar, the boobs are only going to benefit you. You’re already giving the guys their two favorite things: beer and food. If you look hot too, it could get you a bigger tip. The bigger the tits, the bigger the tips. It’s terrible, but it’s true.

10. Being in the weeds is totally real.
Take a breath when this happens and just remember that you are serving people. This isn’t the white house and nobody will die if they wait a little longer for their food or drink. But still keep up and don’t lose energy.

11. Overall, have fun.
I found that the days I went into work with a positive attitude, I walked out with the most cash and felt good about myself. Have fun with the customers. You’ll enjoy yourself, they’ll enjoy themselves. Let your personality come through and even crack some jokes. The customers will want to come back, which will make you happy, your boss happy and business better. Working at a bar isn’t always pleasant, but if you approach it with a positive attitude, it can actually be pretty sweet.