Lately I’ve noticed that after my friends stop talking to a guy they try to make reasons as to why he left, or why he was not interested. I too experienced similar situations in which I searched my mind for some type of excuse. Then I became angry, upset with the fact that us girls decided that we must blame ourselves for the guy cheating, or leaving us for someone else. I looked at all of my friends, as well as myself, and realized we are beautiful. We work hard, laugh often, and respect each other. We take care of ourselves because we are strong, independent, and not afraid to change for the better. Now every time I think bad thoughts or a friend experiences heartache, I will stop mid-sentence to wipe the tears, while saying “Honey, you are good enough, do not ever forget that, and don’t you ever settle for anything but the best.”
1. I wasn’t pretty enough.
This thought should never cross a woman’s mind. NEVER. We are marvelous, wonderful, graceful, beautiful human beings. We are goddesses who do not need men to boost our confidence. We have received visions from archangels, ruled from the throne in 51 B.C., and seduced man to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Our beauty, so powerful, can be blamed for the collapse of mankind. We are definitely pretty enough. With great beauty comes great responsibility.
2. It doesn’t matter anyway. We weren’t exclusive.
All right. Hold up. Everything matters when two people express their feelings for each other. He deserves all the hatred and wrath because you deserve better. You deserve the romantic walks at midnight to look at the stars, phone calls, flowers, anniversaries, and in the end, the joy of trust. If he broke your trust and your heart, that’s all that matters.
3. I don’t have a toned butt or big boobs.
A naked woman equals a naked woman. Who cares about size? Who cares about cellulite or jiggly thighs? You shouldn’t, and if he does, tell him to close his eyes on his way out the door.
4. Maybe I suck at sex?
The real question: Maybe he’s just a douche? God damn him, because if you ever meet The One, he will consider your feelings and would wait until the end of the world for you. Please don’t ever ask yourself that question again.
5. Should I have given him a blowjob?
Hepatitis B, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, inflammation of the throat, or gums, bubbles, warts, blood and semen (in your mouth). Sure, just try drizzling some chocolate over that flappy piece of skin…better yet? You do what you want, and nothing else. You do not need a man to make you feel happy; you are the only one in charge of what you desire, how you act, and the choices you make in life.
6. I’m crazy. That’s what he said, anyway.
You better believe it, darling. If he cannot handle your fire then burn him down. Look at Amelia Earhart, Anne Frank, Gertrude Ederle—or hell, even our moms. One thing these women have in common, other than craziness, is their bravery. They changed the world with their ability to embrace the craziness with courage. Don’t rush into love, don’t constantly be searching for that sense of companionship, and have courage, because you can live this life without someone there consistently reminding you how much they love or need you. Next time you see his face, walk past him (while imagining flipping him off) with grace, because you’re crazy and always have something bigger planned, which you can accomplish without him.
Reasons why you are good enough: You’re beautiful. You’re independent. You’re a woman. You’re terrifying. You’re crazy. You matter. You are difficult to love, but if he wants to leave, let him leave. You determine your own success, and no one can make you feel unworthy. Although you may feel lonely, please remember that being by yourself does not mean you are alone. Dedicate yourself to getting cuter, stronger, braver, and maybe one day you’ll met somebody cuter than him, maybe one day you’ll be ready. Because before you can love someone else completely, you must love yourself fully. Remember, you always deserve the best. And just wait—he’ll see what he lost.