To each of my dear friends whose lives seem to be falling at their feet…. congratulations. To each of my loyal (and very patient) followers who cannot seem to catch a break… congratulations. To each stranger, to each friend of a friend, to each “I’m-too-cool-to-actually-admit-that-I-follow-a-blog” followers, to each of my exes who still check up on me, to their curious new girlfriends, to my family, to my old English teachers who followed the link from Facebook, to the person who accidentally clicked this link from Instagram……….. CONGRATULATIONS.
I’m gonna say it again and a little bit louder for the people in the back:
Why am I congratulating everyone?
Because right now it’s 2:58 am. The day is over. In fact, it’s been over for a while now. Today was supposed to be a good day. But today started out with putting a hot cocoa K-Cup in the Kuerig instead of the espresso cup. Today was the day you ran out of deodorant and today was spilling that hot cocoa on your clean, white shirt- as you walk out of the door. Today was all red lights on your way to work and today was a speeding ticket from a lady cop.
Today might not have just been one of those I-woke-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed type mornings. Today might have been the last day of life as you knew it. Today might have been the day where you rationalized with the darkest parts of you and second guessed your existence. Maybe today hurt. Today took your family or maybe today took your job. Today took your health and your best friend. Maybe today repo’d your car, or today put your childhood dog down. Maybe today spent your last dollar at the bar when it should have been for the credit card company that won’t stop calling you. Maybe today lied to you. Maybe you were waiting on a phone call about a new job. Maybe you were supposed to have lunch with your mother, maybe today was the straw that broke the camel’s back and all of a sudden you hit your breaking point and today makes you absolutely sick to your stomach angry and sad, that you have to wake up tomorrow.
THAT is why I’m congratulating you all.
Because today sucked. And I want to remind you again of the time. It’s 3 am. And the god awful, today is now yesterday. And the tomorrow you questioned if you wanted to meet or not, is already here ready to lend its hand out and pick you up off of your knees.
Now tomorrow is here and I am so delighted to tell you that you’ve made it to part where you focus on healing. Social media has glamorized this healing process, so prepare yourself for culture shock because this is just as hard as the initial obstacle. I’ve even been guilty of thinking doing yoga, drinking green smoothies and just deleting someone’s phone number is the formula for growth. Healing is doing those things if you feel they’re going to benefit you, yes, but for you to fully learn and grow from a heartbreak or hardship, you have to let yourself hurt. You have to go through the growing pains and they are going to make you uncomfortable. There is no magic book or spell or juice cleanse that will erase the “today” you had and for you to be whole. Healing is messy. It’s reliving the situation you’re in and asking questions that have no answer and it’s throwing up from sobbing so hard. It’s not wanting to get out of bed some mornings. It’s alienation and excluding yourself and healing is detachment. It’s closing your heart off for a little while and strengthening your back so that way no more straws may break it. Healing is constantly arguing with the dark parts of yourself over and over again that today might have been terrible but you are worth the fighting chance that tomorrow will be better. Healing is recognizing the hurt and respecting the process and the pace in order to become sound and healthy again.
You survived whatever is eating at your soul and because you survived it once, I have great faith in you that you can survive it twice.
You have it in you to survive it over and over again. You can survive it as many times as it takes for you to get past it and no longer say that you are just surviving but that you are thriving. Let it hurt, let it heal and then let it go.
Today is over.