Questions I Have For Celebrities

Sometimes I wish I were an important celebrity interviewer, a serious journalist just like Ryan Seacrest, so that I could sit down with my favorite stars and notables and ask them just one question.

KATIE HOLMES:
What took you so long?

OPRAH:
Why hasn’t Steadman put a ring on it?

LINDSAY LOHAN:
You know you can stay home some nights, right?

MADONNA:
Why are you so pissed about everything?

BRITNEY:
Would it kill you to sing live just once?

KIM KARDASHIAN:
Why are you famous?

JOHN TRAVOLTA:
Do you ask all of them?

STEVEN TYLER:
You’re on something, right?

AMANDA BYNES:
You’re on something, right?

TRACY MORGAN:
You’re on something, right?

BLAKE LIVELY:
Who are you again?

MARIAH CAREY:
Who dresses you?

MITT ROMNEY:
Why should I vote for you?

BARACK OBAMA:
Why should I vote for you?

AMERICAN PICKERS GUYS:
You two spend a lot of time in that van together, don’t you?

KEITH OLBERMANN:
Ever think maybe the problem is you?

RYAN LOCHTE:
How about you stop talking and just look good?

SNOOKI:
Are you sure you should keep it?

EXECUTIVES WHO PUT HONEY BOO BOO ON TV:
Really?

MAURY POVICH:
You’re still on the air?

ALL AMERICAN WOMEN:
What’s the deal with Ryan Gosling?

KATY PERRY:
Do all those songs sound alike to you too?

RANDY TRAVIS:
Do you think it’s time to quit drinking?

KATHLEEN TURNER:
So, what happened to your career?

MEG RYAN:
So, what happened to your career?

GEENA DAVIS:
So, what happened to your career?

ANDERSON COOPER:
Did you really think we didn’t know all along? TC mark

image – Shutterstock

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