Unfortunately I know all too well what losing someone you love is like. Between the ages of 17 and 21 I lost 4 grandparents, an uncle, and a childhood friend.
I know too well what it’s like to slip on a black dress, to ride in a funeral procession and to cry until it feels like your head will explode. I also know what it’s like to hear people say “If there’s anything we can do for you just let us know” “they’re no longer suffering anymore” and while these sentiments are nice and heartfelt, the best line for me to hear is “I’m praying for you.” Whenever I have lost someone that’s all I want to hear, that people are praying for me and for the family and friends of the lost loved one. Those few words can mean so much to someone in such a difficult time.
Saying that losing someone you love is a rollercoaster is an understatement. Having those sad feelings can be like you’re in the whirlwind of a tornado. One moment you’re walking in the grocery store and you see an older lady with the same color hair as your lost grandmother so you have to leave and try like hell to make it to your car before you break down. Or a song comes on that is so on point about your loved one that you need to pull over because you can’t see through the tears. Getting so angry that they’re gone that you break treasures that you love. Reminiscing old stories with family and friends and laughing until it hurts, but the inevitable silence always comes because no one really knows what to say next.
One of the hardest parts of losing someone for me is having to get in the repetition of referring to them in the past tense.
It can become burdensome and can bring so much pain in itself because using their name followed by “was” or “they used to love…” is a reminder every time that they’re gone. Some of the hardest days should be the most joyous occasions, like Christmas and birthday’s, instead they can be some of the worst because you wish more than anything, not for presents or your favorite food to be prepared, but for the company of those that you so dearly love.
One big wish I have is that more people would take the time to make time for family and friendships. We’re never guaranteed another day on this earth. And, unfortunately, when people are gone you’re only left with memories and photographs. So miss the big party to go spend time with a grandparent. Take a little break from school to go eat with friends. And take as many pictures as you can, because once they’re gone, I promise you that you’ll wish you had taken more.
There are so many lessons I’ve learned through losing loved ones but the biggest one is that no matter how hard you want to control what happens in life, you can’t, and you never will.
One of the hardest but most rewarding life choices you can make is to give your problems and situations in life to God.
I don’t know about you but even through the pain and the heartache, I’m always thankful that He’s the one in control and not me because Jeremiah 29:11 states “For I know the plans I have for,” you declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That verse is always so so reassuring to me and to my faith.